everyone was happy but then he turned EVIL and killed everyone!
That night, I had a nightmare about being Reimu
Also there was a werewolf.
'okay I have sum fud....IN MY STOMACK!!!!!!!!" then she tured itno A GODZILLA
I can't breathe
moorder
but before we could scremam it said "dont scraem" so we didnt
first - I’m British
There were so many glitches there were even glitches comin outta zeldo's butt.
The monster is on the bed with me.
(he wont really do that but my brother said to add something really scary)
"Mmmmmm that was some CRISPY PASTA"
but... IT WAS CHOCLATE FLAVORED
the DVD had vanished! I would never have any proof of this.
'ALWAYS TOGETER!' i giggiggle and play instead of eat.
That is, of course, until she turned into an aardvark.
Monday, August 13, 2018
Friday, August 3, 2018
July 2018 Ticker Quote Archive
"I'm guessing she's not talking about gang warfare, max."
"I think we might have convinced Keahi that you're a lowkey furry."
"What do they say about your chances?" "Almost nonexistent!"
...my, hasn't he grown?
"I hate them. I can’t stand them. Ruined my last relationship, at least in part. I’d be happy to join!"
Wow, everybody put on their best googly eyes for this one!
Fresh blood is needed.
"I'd like an explanation that doesn't make me wanna slice off my wiener with a katana, but I doubt I'm going to get one."
“Thank you for including me!” Kiibo says, perking up.
*See the Big Bar Brawl Edition post*
"I eat, sleep, and BREATHE video games!!' Y'know, to show how hardcore they are?"
"Like 'Spank 'Em'."
"YEAH! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT! Wait. No, don't give me-"
Kaede's idiot hair fully droops, lying flat on her head.
DUMPED ON THE GROUND LIKE WIDOW MAKER'S LAST GIRLFRIEND
"Eat healthy while you're young." he muttered darkly
burning pink flames conjured from an eviiiiil zippo
"Dang. Nobody's here to appreciate me being alive and cool. This must be how Cirno feels all the time."
Iodine's Isolation Cube Of Starvation And Sadness
we don't talk about the Great Regi Frat Party Of '92
"I had no faith that would work."
Big hugs, big kisses! Is this too much for Zoofights Roleplay?!
"Then behave and fite the nice man! And not to the death!"
Damn it, where do I hire one of my characters to narrate? It's extra work for me...
"PLANESWARENS KIDNAP POOR LIZARD CHILD AFTER MURDERING HIS COUSINS"
I'm not just being a rude boy to precious machine girl.
THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN
strangely charmed by the murderer of her people.
Missing and hitting the wall? Not on the menu.
"That, or one of our past or future selves is messing with the timeline." "I hope we meet them! I could do with another gun."
"BANG BANG BANG!"
"I think we might have convinced Keahi that you're a lowkey furry."
"What do they say about your chances?" "Almost nonexistent!"
...my, hasn't he grown?
"I hate them. I can’t stand them. Ruined my last relationship, at least in part. I’d be happy to join!"
Wow, everybody put on their best googly eyes for this one!
Fresh blood is needed.
"I'd like an explanation that doesn't make me wanna slice off my wiener with a katana, but I doubt I'm going to get one."
“Thank you for including me!” Kiibo says, perking up.
*See the Big Bar Brawl Edition post*
"I eat, sleep, and BREATHE video games!!' Y'know, to show how hardcore they are?"
"Like 'Spank 'Em'."
"YEAH! GIVE ME SOME OF THAT! Wait. No, don't give me-"
Kaede's idiot hair fully droops, lying flat on her head.
DUMPED ON THE GROUND LIKE WIDOW MAKER'S LAST GIRLFRIEND
"Eat healthy while you're young." he muttered darkly
burning pink flames conjured from an eviiiiil zippo
"Dang. Nobody's here to appreciate me being alive and cool. This must be how Cirno feels all the time."
Iodine's Isolation Cube Of Starvation And Sadness
we don't talk about the Great Regi Frat Party Of '92
"I had no faith that would work."
Big hugs, big kisses! Is this too much for Zoofights Roleplay?!
"Then behave and fite the nice man! And not to the death!"
Damn it, where do I hire one of my characters to narrate? It's extra work for me...
"PLANESWARENS KIDNAP POOR LIZARD CHILD AFTER MURDERING HIS COUSINS"
I'm not just being a rude boy to precious machine girl.
THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN
strangely charmed by the murderer of her people.
Missing and hitting the wall? Not on the menu.
"That, or one of our past or future selves is messing with the timeline." "I hope we meet them! I could do with another gun."
"BANG BANG BANG!"
Friday, July 13, 2018
Big Bar Brawl 8 Quote Archive
As the Big Bar Brawl is the biggest event of the RP year, one little ticker line is insufficient to capture its majesty, so here is the Officially-Too-Big-For-The-Ticker Bar Brawl Quote Archive.
~
giddily squirming despite their intimidating forms
Despite being incredibly annoyed, Mac starts to actually sing
Doktor Hanz is slapping his metal meat
"IT’S NOAH, FROM THE BIBLE!”
Globglogabgalab just seems to be waving back and forth
canine’s canines
Back in the Brawl bubble, Globglogabgalab finally leaves his book
taking the sunglasses with it… and putting them on because why not?
“…Here’s hoping it’s not that boring!”
Noah had expected his goat army to repel and deal with most foes
but the samey hallways with repeating decorations only evoked memories of Limbo and lead to a lot of unnecessary backtracking.
the e-book Red Badge of Courage open despite it being an almost cowardly retreat.
“DON’T SAY IT BOB! WE’RE ON DISNEY XD STILL!”
"Probably gets his goat."
“STAAAAAAAAN! THAT’S MEEEEEEEEEEEAN!”
A man in a brown varsity jacket and jeans that have seen better days has sat down. He has also seen better days.
"DISNEY RUINED WINNIE THE POOH!"
“Dirty no good facts checkers!”
Pulling up his sleeves, he marches over, “Pick on the small guy, that’s the way, is it?”
“Is it because he’s a corpse or because he’s also naked?”
Max calls out, unloading his pistol into Nilmates, the corpse-like tagalong taking the bullets in stride and continuing his yarn.
As if the question needed answering, I guess we got definitive proof that Sam & Max, Freelance Police are better adventurers than someone from the Limbo of the Lost… as if that was ever in question.
Bob says, turning and expecting to see Funmeister ready to comment… but instead somehow seeing Nilmates.
After a few seconds of absorption, Jeffery realized… guns are sports.
“Less magic, more manic!” he says, hoping the line sounded as clever to Jim as it sounded to him.
“HAHAHAHAH! PREPARE FOR A BONESTORM!”
Their mother had trained them well on how to deal with Knack, the kids even playing a video game to see just how weak he actually was
When some other person in the stands shouts that he's blocking their view, he responds by decking them in the face. Cue a brawl.
A crowd of skeletons in the audience rattle enthusiastically.
he could probably stomp the bugs for easy kills
When he heard a “KA-KAKAKAKA!” on the horizon, it almost came as a relief.
And Evolto is still punching people.
"no no no don't cut the feed you gangly bag of garbage"
“Lobster Mobster, let’s show them the power of the House of Mouse.”
Internet nerds got needs.
In the bar she's invaded, Jo'on is drinking heavily.
“FIRE PROOF ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBE!”
"they keep dying to teenagers with personal problems"
“Like taking Dickmann’s from ein kinder…”
Go Packers.
his body unable to even come up with a more creative flavor to shift into as the mutant enters a state of torpor.
“I don’t get it! We should be as boring as public radio by now!”
For a moment, it looked less like a death tournament and more like a construction job fast-forwarded
“Are you saying-“ “Drop that bass,” Gino corrects himself
the energy making her feel bloated and antsy, a feeling she absolutely reviled.
“That’s it? THAT’S the lewdest you can go? Can’t even throw in some fucking tassels, or at least a strap-on!”
Jaws looks up at him, only to see Sam… with his arms on his hips.
Oda hadn’t realized what she was dealing with. The Skeleton King hadn’t realized what he was even.
Prier was trying to cool down after being hit by an ice
“Fite how you will, but the Lord of Bones is the lord of ALL bones, so… we’re cool. FOR NOW!”
blinking her eyes as she tries to push out odd thoughts she was having about taking up tennis or going to play some Putt-Putt after the Brawl.
“Yes! That is definitely why I am challenging you now!"
Kap slipped on some scuba gear casually, “Sabotage isn’t kaiju pressure!”
Risbun sighs, “The five o’clock booty call has just arrived.”
~
giddily squirming despite their intimidating forms
Despite being incredibly annoyed, Mac starts to actually sing
Doktor Hanz is slapping his metal meat
"IT’S NOAH, FROM THE BIBLE!”
Globglogabgalab just seems to be waving back and forth
canine’s canines
Back in the Brawl bubble, Globglogabgalab finally leaves his book
taking the sunglasses with it… and putting them on because why not?
“…Here’s hoping it’s not that boring!”
Noah had expected his goat army to repel and deal with most foes
but the samey hallways with repeating decorations only evoked memories of Limbo and lead to a lot of unnecessary backtracking.
the e-book Red Badge of Courage open despite it being an almost cowardly retreat.
“DON’T SAY IT BOB! WE’RE ON DISNEY XD STILL!”
"Probably gets his goat."
“STAAAAAAAAN! THAT’S MEEEEEEEEEEEAN!”
A man in a brown varsity jacket and jeans that have seen better days has sat down. He has also seen better days.
"DISNEY RUINED WINNIE THE POOH!"
“Dirty no good facts checkers!”
Pulling up his sleeves, he marches over, “Pick on the small guy, that’s the way, is it?”
“Is it because he’s a corpse or because he’s also naked?”
Max calls out, unloading his pistol into Nilmates, the corpse-like tagalong taking the bullets in stride and continuing his yarn.
As if the question needed answering, I guess we got definitive proof that Sam & Max, Freelance Police are better adventurers than someone from the Limbo of the Lost… as if that was ever in question.
Bob says, turning and expecting to see Funmeister ready to comment… but instead somehow seeing Nilmates.
After a few seconds of absorption, Jeffery realized… guns are sports.
“Less magic, more manic!” he says, hoping the line sounded as clever to Jim as it sounded to him.
“HAHAHAHAH! PREPARE FOR A BONESTORM!”
Their mother had trained them well on how to deal with Knack, the kids even playing a video game to see just how weak he actually was
When some other person in the stands shouts that he's blocking their view, he responds by decking them in the face. Cue a brawl.
A crowd of skeletons in the audience rattle enthusiastically.
he could probably stomp the bugs for easy kills
When he heard a “KA-KAKAKAKA!” on the horizon, it almost came as a relief.
And Evolto is still punching people.
"no no no don't cut the feed you gangly bag of garbage"
“Lobster Mobster, let’s show them the power of the House of Mouse.”
Internet nerds got needs.
In the bar she's invaded, Jo'on is drinking heavily.
“FIRE PROOF ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBE!”
"they keep dying to teenagers with personal problems"
“Like taking Dickmann’s from ein kinder…”
Go Packers.
his body unable to even come up with a more creative flavor to shift into as the mutant enters a state of torpor.
“I don’t get it! We should be as boring as public radio by now!”
For a moment, it looked less like a death tournament and more like a construction job fast-forwarded
“Are you saying-“ “Drop that bass,” Gino corrects himself
the energy making her feel bloated and antsy, a feeling she absolutely reviled.
“That’s it? THAT’S the lewdest you can go? Can’t even throw in some fucking tassels, or at least a strap-on!”
Jaws looks up at him, only to see Sam… with his arms on his hips.
Oda hadn’t realized what she was dealing with. The Skeleton King hadn’t realized what he was even.
Prier was trying to cool down after being hit by an ice
“Fite how you will, but the Lord of Bones is the lord of ALL bones, so… we’re cool. FOR NOW!”
blinking her eyes as she tries to push out odd thoughts she was having about taking up tennis or going to play some Putt-Putt after the Brawl.
“Yes! That is definitely why I am challenging you now!"
Kap slipped on some scuba gear casually, “Sabotage isn’t kaiju pressure!”
Risbun sighs, “The five o’clock booty call has just arrived.”
Thursday, July 12, 2018
June 2018 Ticker Quote Archive
Gino is enjoying a rice ball after his busy day earlier. "This donut is great."
"SHUT UP, EVERYONE, I'VE DONE SOMETHING BRILLIANT!"
Baffled/10
Just one punch is enough.
most importantly: play sports thanks to loopholes.
but the text above it says CORNWIND EVIL.
"There's gonna be candy and weed and smooth jazz and everyone's gonna walk around naked and it's gonna be so much more fun!"
"...Or is she in lesbians with me? I just met her, how is this even-"
"It's that fucking shark, isn't it?"
if they see a frog inside the cabana, they CANNOT EAT IT.
Circe owed her at least five dollars for doing it. Maybe even six.
"Full name? Omelette Penders."
"CONGRATS ON REACHING PUBERTY"
"Remember those fun fights you had with the police?"
Wrong dood, dood.
"She failed so bad, I exist."
"You thought my erection had dissipated. You thought wrong."
"...all right, I'm a hypocrite." Rewind, play. "...all right, I'm a hypocrite." Rewind, play. "...all right, I'm a hypocrite."
"Who needs an anchor of sanity, anyway?"
she flails about, unable to comprehend COOKIE.
Dovetail isn't a General-chan.
"THE SIXTH SICK SHEIKH'S SIXTH SHEEP'S SICK!"
Vince is here and ready to Vince it up.
"Grab-N-Go stores are almost completely robbery-proof."
Beth narrowed her eyes and smirked. "Are you having Fuuuuun?"
"My buttcheeks are as clenched as they ever will be for this. Let's go."
IT’S TOTALLY NOT A DATE SONIA SHUT UP
It was oddly calming to see a reminder that other people were having much worse days than her.
"The fact there have been THREE Spider Man film timelines in the past fifteen years changes all that."
"Jaws will not be making it far in the Brawl."
"SHUT UP, EVERYONE, I'VE DONE SOMETHING BRILLIANT!"
Baffled/10
Just one punch is enough.
most importantly: play sports thanks to loopholes.
but the text above it says CORNWIND EVIL.
"There's gonna be candy and weed and smooth jazz and everyone's gonna walk around naked and it's gonna be so much more fun!"
"...Or is she in lesbians with me? I just met her, how is this even-"
"It's that fucking shark, isn't it?"
if they see a frog inside the cabana, they CANNOT EAT IT.
Circe owed her at least five dollars for doing it. Maybe even six.
"Full name? Omelette Penders."
"CONGRATS ON REACHING PUBERTY"
"Remember those fun fights you had with the police?"
Wrong dood, dood.
"She failed so bad, I exist."
"You thought my erection had dissipated. You thought wrong."
"...all right, I'm a hypocrite." Rewind, play. "...all right, I'm a hypocrite." Rewind, play. "...all right, I'm a hypocrite."
"Who needs an anchor of sanity, anyway?"
she flails about, unable to comprehend COOKIE.
Dovetail isn't a General-chan.
"THE SIXTH SICK SHEIKH'S SIXTH SHEEP'S SICK!"
Vince is here and ready to Vince it up.
"Grab-N-Go stores are almost completely robbery-proof."
Beth narrowed her eyes and smirked. "Are you having Fuuuuun?"
"My buttcheeks are as clenched as they ever will be for this. Let's go."
IT’S TOTALLY NOT A DATE SONIA SHUT UP
It was oddly calming to see a reminder that other people were having much worse days than her.
"The fact there have been THREE Spider Man film timelines in the past fifteen years changes all that."
"Jaws will not be making it far in the Brawl."
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
May 2018 Ticker Quote Archive
"What is the role of The Nevermind?"
She smiled like a shy paper shredder.
All he got was a "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" in response.
"KU-WHA-HAW-HEE-HEY!"
"local weirdos blow up a different weirdo"
Pls bring packed lunches. Drinks provided.
Ibuki knew fake crying when she saw it, but that didn’t stop her~
"time to either save or arrest a baby!"
"You can just look away and ignore the inevitable crying if you need to."
"Are there other, enemy hotels and bars out there?"
"...Can you please say that again without being...you?"
Ryuji is about to die.
lel disco
"I'd do something but I'm very small and also a cat!"
Yanda, in her heart of hearts, screeches internally
"The only kobbering you'll be doing is in your dumb fanfiction!"
"Excuse me, ma'm, I'm going to see a name tag if you're going to continue laughing maniacally on this course."
"Awww, and here I thought you were gonna say something cute"
"They normally explode nice and clean!"
Instead he's in the middle of a pillow fight. A BODY pillow fight.
"...My ears are melllllltinnnng...."
They have formed a little mob outside the kitchen
You know when you have an itch on your back you just can't quite find the right spot to scratch? It's like that but a skeleton inside of you.
"That's cold, man." "Cold like Jimmy's corpse."
Softly, he says, "I love you, dood,"
"if you die bravely fighting the horrible monsters i'll laugh at you"
"Even if he chokes to death, he'll be fine."
tiny frog pirate adventure
"I don't recall you being very interested in exercise, Nitori."
"I bet ten bucks on this race and I'm gonna reconcile the morality of this AFTER I see it through."
The bar frogs cannot respond, for they are frogs.
She smiled like a shy paper shredder.
All he got was a "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" in response.
"KU-WHA-HAW-HEE-HEY!"
"local weirdos blow up a different weirdo"
Pls bring packed lunches. Drinks provided.
Ibuki knew fake crying when she saw it, but that didn’t stop her~
"time to either save or arrest a baby!"
"You can just look away and ignore the inevitable crying if you need to."
"Are there other, enemy hotels and bars out there?"
"...Can you please say that again without being...you?"
Ryuji is about to die.
lel disco
"I'd do something but I'm very small and also a cat!"
Yanda, in her heart of hearts, screeches internally
"The only kobbering you'll be doing is in your dumb fanfiction!"
"Excuse me, ma'm, I'm going to see a name tag if you're going to continue laughing maniacally on this course."
"Awww, and here I thought you were gonna say something cute"
"They normally explode nice and clean!"
Instead he's in the middle of a pillow fight. A BODY pillow fight.
"...My ears are melllllltinnnng...."
They have formed a little mob outside the kitchen
You know when you have an itch on your back you just can't quite find the right spot to scratch? It's like that but a skeleton inside of you.
"That's cold, man." "Cold like Jimmy's corpse."
Softly, he says, "I love you, dood,"
"if you die bravely fighting the horrible monsters i'll laugh at you"
"Even if he chokes to death, he'll be fine."
tiny frog pirate adventure
"I don't recall you being very interested in exercise, Nitori."
"I bet ten bucks on this race and I'm gonna reconcile the morality of this AFTER I see it through."
The bar frogs cannot respond, for they are frogs.
Tuesday, May 1, 2018
2017-2018 Offseason Ticker Quote Archive
"Lovely moon to wander aimlessly under, isn't it?"
The Fazfucks promptly kidnap Murdoc. They have such wonderful sights to show him.
"All will fear the warpath of Tiny Tony Kapponi."
"STOP ASSURING THEM THIS PLOT IS OVER"
"...This isn't a, uh, Hemp farm?"
"I can't go theeeeeeeeeeeeere... I'll meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelt..."
Clash was like most of my jerks
"Belphagor, nemesis of the innocent and despoiler of hope wished to book one of the petting zoos for his daughter's seventh birthday."
"Come on, sniff me!”
Extreme Book Club had shown her what she needed to do
“Not like I’m gonna be eating worms for dinner, so why not?”
"By the way, koi? They’re jerks."
"I'm going to dentist school!"
“Could you keep sleeping on a bench? Please? You’d be doing me a huuuuge favor!”
"Why don't you just-" "Because. That's all."
"And the winner will receive a fabulous prize! ...Yes, that sounds good enough."
There was that horrifying 10 minute pause
"She bought TWO UFO pictures"
Carol wasn't sure if that had been Bad Move Number Three
Man, Lady Luck was mean some days.
Maybe because her brain exploded.
"G-g-g-g-g-Gee Pee Ehs?"
"Cease fiddling with your little earth-friend's bits and get to it already, would you?"
Up in a tree amongst the leaves, Scylla didn't see why Eva liked this so much.
<I'm gonna bite you in HAAAAAAAAAAALF!>
"God, his speeches need work!"
She almost ripped with her heart
The cupcake proved too powerful for her
"I will not engage you in paltry conversation. Leave now"
"we just hired Sarah"
The night was proud of her.
the Teapot had long been abandoned
"You need to move the body."
Nobody was sorry.
"You hired the incompetent?!"
The prison was running low on spoons
"Ahh! A talking cat!" Rin exclaimed
"Wow, I'm impressed you got a whole acronym out of that."
"I made you out of my own goat scrapings in a jar, Conrad, and I'll unmake you the same way."
It wasn't much consolation to him, but it was worth mentioning.
she felt famished and unfulfilled, like a VCR reminder next to a DVD player.
"KUWAHAWI It's More Real"
someone inevitibly microwaves styrofoam.
"Who needs to see a dog spliced into a mantis shrimp, anyway?”
Pupipi
"Now, where should I throw you?”
"Bubblesbubblesbubbles," stalled the man, waving a bathing wand and a pistol.
"Our family tree is tangled enough already."
Hell, did he even deserve his four course meal?
"T-tokiko..." Tokiko's headwing drooped.
"I'm still not entirely used to eating with these teeth"
"Wait... which one's the Archon?"
the haze of obnoxious pink, blue and yellow neon
"More fun! You can see the crocodiles.”
"Goodness, the things she could accomplish if she just woke up, or at least drank some coffee."
No. Shut up. Just go away.
"you're gonna eat your words when we go on our kickass pirate cruise (ಠ ∩ಠ)"
The Fazfucks promptly kidnap Murdoc. They have such wonderful sights to show him.
"All will fear the warpath of Tiny Tony Kapponi."
"STOP ASSURING THEM THIS PLOT IS OVER"
"...This isn't a, uh, Hemp farm?"
"I can't go theeeeeeeeeeeeere... I'll meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelt..."
Clash was like most of my jerks
"Belphagor, nemesis of the innocent and despoiler of hope wished to book one of the petting zoos for his daughter's seventh birthday."
"Come on, sniff me!”
Extreme Book Club had shown her what she needed to do
“Not like I’m gonna be eating worms for dinner, so why not?”
"By the way, koi? They’re jerks."
"I'm going to dentist school!"
“Could you keep sleeping on a bench? Please? You’d be doing me a huuuuge favor!”
"Why don't you just-" "Because. That's all."
"And the winner will receive a fabulous prize! ...Yes, that sounds good enough."
There was that horrifying 10 minute pause
"She bought TWO UFO pictures"
Carol wasn't sure if that had been Bad Move Number Three
Man, Lady Luck was mean some days.
Maybe because her brain exploded.
"G-g-g-g-g-Gee Pee Ehs?"
"Cease fiddling with your little earth-friend's bits and get to it already, would you?"
Up in a tree amongst the leaves, Scylla didn't see why Eva liked this so much.
<I'm gonna bite you in HAAAAAAAAAAALF!>
"God, his speeches need work!"
She almost ripped with her heart
The cupcake proved too powerful for her
"I will not engage you in paltry conversation. Leave now"
"we just hired Sarah"
The night was proud of her.
the Teapot had long been abandoned
"You need to move the body."
Nobody was sorry.
"You hired the incompetent?!"
The prison was running low on spoons
"Ahh! A talking cat!" Rin exclaimed
"Wow, I'm impressed you got a whole acronym out of that."
"I made you out of my own goat scrapings in a jar, Conrad, and I'll unmake you the same way."
It wasn't much consolation to him, but it was worth mentioning.
she felt famished and unfulfilled, like a VCR reminder next to a DVD player.
"KUWAHAWI It's More Real"
someone inevitibly microwaves styrofoam.
"Who needs to see a dog spliced into a mantis shrimp, anyway?”
Pupipi
"Now, where should I throw you?”
"Bubblesbubblesbubbles," stalled the man, waving a bathing wand and a pistol.
"Our family tree is tangled enough already."
Hell, did he even deserve his four course meal?
"T-tokiko..." Tokiko's headwing drooped.
"I'm still not entirely used to eating with these teeth"
"Wait... which one's the Archon?"
the haze of obnoxious pink, blue and yellow neon
"More fun! You can see the crocodiles.”
"Goodness, the things she could accomplish if she just woke up, or at least drank some coffee."
No. Shut up. Just go away.
"you're gonna eat your words when we go on our kickass pirate cruise (ಠ ∩ಠ)"
Monday, April 30, 2018
Honor Among Thieves 5: The Gang's Back Together
Late the next day, at an Old But Not Abandoned Warehouse...
Croco snickered quietly as he looked over the haul from the museum. Dozens of paintings and sculptures neatly stacked around him. It was a haul worth thousands if not a few million. All they needed to do was find a fence for all of this stuff and they'd be set for awhile. He didn't plan to rest of his laurels until he was out, but it'd be a comfortable month or two before his group's next robbery.
"Croco, ve need to talk."
The purple reptile sighed, his good mood postponed. His thick-headed 'partner' barged into the cordoned-off area of the warehouse Croco used for an office, prompting him to turn around and smile, showing off his long rows of teeth.
"What is it, Mouser? I was doing an inventory of the loot," he asked, trying not to show his annoyance. "I need to know how many fences we'll need if we want to move this stuff fast."
"I spoke vith my boys and ve vant out of zhis arrangement," Mouser spat.
Croco laconically raised an eyebrow. "Tired of making money? There's plenty of wealth out there though."
"No, zhe stakes are too high now!" the large rodent shrieked. "It vas fine vhen ve didn't have to vorry about being found out, but zhat horn-headed nuisance has seen us, knows who ve are! Once she's out of jail, she'll be coming for us!"
Croco chuckled and draped an arm around his partner's shoulders. "You know what? That's fine. It's been a profitable venture, but you might be right."
"I...I am?" The mouse was stunned, barely able to talk as the two headed out into the common area the gangs were using.
"Sure! You're right; the game's been blown. Nobody will believe we're her gang when she's in jail," Croco answered. "We'll lay low for now, slowly move the loot and get a huge payday. Then we'll go our separate ways."
"N-no! Ve're done NOW!" Mouser sputtered. "She'll talk and the cops vill come for us! Ve're taking out half of zhe loot and leaving!"
Croco sighed and placed his hands on Mouser's shoulders. "You don't have the contacts to get rid of that much stuff in a hurry, my friend. Not discreetly anyway. You try to move that much merch and the cops will get you anyway."
The angry rodent shrugged the lizard's hands off and stepped back, reaching for a bomb. "I don't care! Ve're done vith you! Finished! Ve'll be taking our share NOW!"
That certainly got a reaction, causing Croco to snarl and reach for a bomb of his own. "Don't be hasty, rat. You only got this far because I'm smart enough to know you're too dumb to succeed without help."
The assembled gangs looked on in shock as a confrontation began to brew. Croco's bandits began to draw knives while Mouser's Snifits pointed their faces at others. Clawgrip, the giant crab, skittered about menacingly. Tempers flared, fuses were lit, and chaos was about to erupt!
...then the lights went out, the only illumination coming from bomb fuses. The assembled thieves looked about in confusion until laughter began to echo through the warehouse.
"Hu hu hu hu hu..."
A single light came on, drawing all eyes to the top of a pile of crates where Zeldoten Renstim stood, arms crossed and looking decidedly neither shot nor exploded.
"Hello boys! I'm not interrupting something, am I?" Zeldoten smirked. "Took me some time to find you guys, but I just had to let you know that you amateurs left a job unfinished."
Croco huffed. "We can change that right now. Your little crab cake run off?"
A rumble suddenly swept through the building. The bandits and Snifits milled about uneasily as a second rumble hit. Zeldoten looked incredibly nonchalant.
"Just a small earthquake. Nothing to worry about," Croco snapped, his eyes locked with Zeldoten's. "Now about you..."
"Yeah, about me," Zeldoten repeated. "Well, not just ME, to be honest. You see, you punks forgot something: when you mess with me, you don't just mess with Zeldoten. You mess with..."
She paused for dramatic effect.
"THE ZELDOTEN GANG!!!"
Another pause.
"THE ZELDOTEN GANG!!!"
Another pause. She tapped her foot impatiently, turning towards a wall.
"NIBBLES. I'M GIVING YOU THE SIGNAL."
Two large cracks appeared in one of the walls, letting sunlight in. Well, not cracks so much as giant tears as two massive claws suddenly punched through the wall, slowly tearing a huge gaping hole in the side of the building.
(Original image)
Followed by 28-32 weasels with laser pistols, Nibbles the Giant Friend Dragon Crab ripped his way into the warehouse, towering over the rival gangs. When he shrieked, several bandits and Snifits ran for the exits, only to find them stuck shut.
"You can thank the genius of Doktor Lucy DeMonde for this marvel of Alchemy! I copied her recipe to make my little buddy not-so-little for this momentous occasion!" Zeldoten bragged. "Now, how about a nice surrender and my boys won't have to mess you up?"
She yelped when the crate she was standing on exploded. She scowled, hovering in place. "Well, alright then. ZELDOTEN GANG!!!, ATTACK!"
"Koopa Pack...er...Mouser Pack, attack!" Mouser shouted, rushing forward into battle.
Croco scowled, motioning for his boys to join in, knives and Snifit bullets going one way, stun beams going the other. Nibbles stepped forward and nonchalantly swept his claws about, sending the bad guys flying! Well, everyone in this fight is technically a bad guy, so a couple of weasels went flying too.
Zeldoten facepalmed as she drew her own gun and started shooting, carefully picking off anyone pointing a weapon at her oversized familiar. Nibbles seemed to be doing quite well, his dragon-like chitin deflecting pretty much anything thrown at him. Then Clawgrip lunged forward, getting one of Nibbles' legs in his crip despite his opponent's much larger size. Nibbles roared, slamming his claws on Clawgrip ferociously. Neither crab seemed ready to give up though and the battlefield quickly emptied lest someone find themself underfoot at the two titanic crustaceans brawled. Something was missing though, Zeldoten thought, looking around. When a flash of purple disappeared into a walled-off area, she glided overhead.
"Damn that Zeldoten...I was expecting to have this stuff cataloged before she found us," Croco snarled, searching his pocket for another Portal Potion. "I'll just have to grab some stuff at random and-"
"Try to make a fool of me again?" Zeldoten said, finishing his sentence. "Sorry, not happening."
"Hmph. How embarrassing, getting found out before I could set up my fall mouse," Croco sighed. "You really think you can stop me though? A tiny tot like you?"
"Pfft. You're not HALF as dangerous as Undyne the Undying. Not even a quarter!" Zeldoten laughed as she drew a sword. "Not my usual stuff, but it'll do in a pinch."
Then she got body slammed into a wall by a big, muscular crocodile. The Tiefling groaned as the wind was knocked out of her. She quickly slashed at Croco's hide with her claws, making only small cuts in his thick hide. The croc spun quickly, slamming his tail at Zeldoten's head, but she managed a quick roll, narrowly escaping as she slashed the tip of her sword across her foe's scales. Croco growled and lunged forward, trying to snap Zeldoten up in his jaws, clamping down on her sword arm briefly before she began scratching his eye.
A loud screech drew their attention as Clawgrip went soaring overhead, followed by Nibbles climbing over the walls. The two master thieves backed up to avoid being stepped on, each drawing a bomb and hurling it. Dual explosions shook the room, knocking things over and off the walls. Both fighters gasped and panting, each bleeding from new wounds. Zeldoten was smiling though, starting to laugh.
"Something funny? I can keep going all day," Croco snarled.
"Me too." Zeldoten continued laughing as her tail swung around, holding a small wand. She tapped herself on the head and her wounds began to seal. "Magic wands. Don't leave home without them. Hu hu hu hu hu-RK!"
Zeldoten's laughter stuck in her throat as Croco slammed her into a wall, headbutting her repeatedly in his anger. She choked and wheezed, feeling a rib or two break. She swiped as him feebly, only catching his hat and jacket in her attempts before he slapped her with his tail. She lay on the ground, breathing shallowly as Croco chuckled and picked up her wand.
"Well, as fun as this has been, I really MUST be going. Even the local police couldn't have missed that," the croc laughed. "Now, adieu!"
He reached into his pocket for his Portal Potion and...reached in and...and...he heard a hissing behind him and turned to see Zeldoten holding it.
"Looking for this?" Zeldoten asked.
Croco stepped forward as she held up something else: a lit fuse.
"You've been outsmarted by a Master Thief."
He looked on in horror as the fuse burned quickly, making its way from her hand to the floor and up his leg. Too late, he began to reach for the fuse going to his own bombs and...
Zeldoten covered her eyes and recovered her wand from the badly burned Croco. Nibbles looked down at her, eating something. The sounds of battle were also fading, Weasel Banding looking in on her.
"Ready to go, Boss?" Weasel Bandit asked. "Weasel Bandit's got the airship running and Weasel Bandit thinks the cops are coming."
Zeldoten looked down at her defeated rival and pinned a note to him before grabbing his hat. She adjusted the slightly-singed accessory and nodded.
~
Within the hour...
Lucy DeMonde sipped her tea as she wrote Owen Buckley a letter. He may have disappeared to parts unknown, but she had ways of sending him messages regardless. Mostly instructions to practice what she taught him, requests that he not get himself too killed, etc. Nurse Teacups fluttered into the room with her cellphone, the organic screen showing a breaking news story.
Museum thieves captured, all loot recovered with evidence of other robberies confiscated, findings suggest that Zeldoten Renstim was not responsible for several violent robberies committed in her name.
The doktor sipped her tea. "Thank you, Teacups. Remind me to pick up my alchemy kit after the show."
~
Days later...
"Miss Renstim, Mister Nibbles, your set is in twenty minutes..."
The roadie shut the door on her way out, leaving Zeldoten and Nibbles alone to put on their makeup and get into costume.
"This is it! Our first performance!" Zeldoten squealed, covering up her black eye. "This is going to be our biggest heist ever: stealing the hearts of screaming music lovers!"
Nibbles looked at her with a smile as she wrapped her arms around him, carrying him off to the stage.
The show must go on.
Croco snickered quietly as he looked over the haul from the museum. Dozens of paintings and sculptures neatly stacked around him. It was a haul worth thousands if not a few million. All they needed to do was find a fence for all of this stuff and they'd be set for awhile. He didn't plan to rest of his laurels until he was out, but it'd be a comfortable month or two before his group's next robbery.
"Croco, ve need to talk."
The purple reptile sighed, his good mood postponed. His thick-headed 'partner' barged into the cordoned-off area of the warehouse Croco used for an office, prompting him to turn around and smile, showing off his long rows of teeth.
"What is it, Mouser? I was doing an inventory of the loot," he asked, trying not to show his annoyance. "I need to know how many fences we'll need if we want to move this stuff fast."
"I spoke vith my boys and ve vant out of zhis arrangement," Mouser spat.
Croco laconically raised an eyebrow. "Tired of making money? There's plenty of wealth out there though."
"No, zhe stakes are too high now!" the large rodent shrieked. "It vas fine vhen ve didn't have to vorry about being found out, but zhat horn-headed nuisance has seen us, knows who ve are! Once she's out of jail, she'll be coming for us!"
Croco chuckled and draped an arm around his partner's shoulders. "You know what? That's fine. It's been a profitable venture, but you might be right."
"I...I am?" The mouse was stunned, barely able to talk as the two headed out into the common area the gangs were using.
"Sure! You're right; the game's been blown. Nobody will believe we're her gang when she's in jail," Croco answered. "We'll lay low for now, slowly move the loot and get a huge payday. Then we'll go our separate ways."
"N-no! Ve're done NOW!" Mouser sputtered. "She'll talk and the cops vill come for us! Ve're taking out half of zhe loot and leaving!"
Croco sighed and placed his hands on Mouser's shoulders. "You don't have the contacts to get rid of that much stuff in a hurry, my friend. Not discreetly anyway. You try to move that much merch and the cops will get you anyway."
The angry rodent shrugged the lizard's hands off and stepped back, reaching for a bomb. "I don't care! Ve're done vith you! Finished! Ve'll be taking our share NOW!"
That certainly got a reaction, causing Croco to snarl and reach for a bomb of his own. "Don't be hasty, rat. You only got this far because I'm smart enough to know you're too dumb to succeed without help."
The assembled gangs looked on in shock as a confrontation began to brew. Croco's bandits began to draw knives while Mouser's Snifits pointed their faces at others. Clawgrip, the giant crab, skittered about menacingly. Tempers flared, fuses were lit, and chaos was about to erupt!
...then the lights went out, the only illumination coming from bomb fuses. The assembled thieves looked about in confusion until laughter began to echo through the warehouse.
"Hu hu hu hu hu..."
A single light came on, drawing all eyes to the top of a pile of crates where Zeldoten Renstim stood, arms crossed and looking decidedly neither shot nor exploded.
"Hello boys! I'm not interrupting something, am I?" Zeldoten smirked. "Took me some time to find you guys, but I just had to let you know that you amateurs left a job unfinished."
Croco huffed. "We can change that right now. Your little crab cake run off?"
A rumble suddenly swept through the building. The bandits and Snifits milled about uneasily as a second rumble hit. Zeldoten looked incredibly nonchalant.
"Just a small earthquake. Nothing to worry about," Croco snapped, his eyes locked with Zeldoten's. "Now about you..."
"Yeah, about me," Zeldoten repeated. "Well, not just ME, to be honest. You see, you punks forgot something: when you mess with me, you don't just mess with Zeldoten. You mess with..."
She paused for dramatic effect.
"THE ZELDOTEN GANG!!!"
Another pause.
"THE ZELDOTEN GANG!!!"
Another pause. She tapped her foot impatiently, turning towards a wall.
"NIBBLES. I'M GIVING YOU THE SIGNAL."
Two large cracks appeared in one of the walls, letting sunlight in. Well, not cracks so much as giant tears as two massive claws suddenly punched through the wall, slowly tearing a huge gaping hole in the side of the building.
Followed by 28-32 weasels with laser pistols, Nibbles the Giant Friend Dragon Crab ripped his way into the warehouse, towering over the rival gangs. When he shrieked, several bandits and Snifits ran for the exits, only to find them stuck shut.
"You can thank the genius of Doktor Lucy DeMonde for this marvel of Alchemy! I copied her recipe to make my little buddy not-so-little for this momentous occasion!" Zeldoten bragged. "Now, how about a nice surrender and my boys won't have to mess you up?"
She yelped when the crate she was standing on exploded. She scowled, hovering in place. "Well, alright then. ZELDOTEN GANG!!!, ATTACK!"
"Koopa Pack...er...Mouser Pack, attack!" Mouser shouted, rushing forward into battle.
Croco scowled, motioning for his boys to join in, knives and Snifit bullets going one way, stun beams going the other. Nibbles stepped forward and nonchalantly swept his claws about, sending the bad guys flying! Well, everyone in this fight is technically a bad guy, so a couple of weasels went flying too.
Zeldoten facepalmed as she drew her own gun and started shooting, carefully picking off anyone pointing a weapon at her oversized familiar. Nibbles seemed to be doing quite well, his dragon-like chitin deflecting pretty much anything thrown at him. Then Clawgrip lunged forward, getting one of Nibbles' legs in his crip despite his opponent's much larger size. Nibbles roared, slamming his claws on Clawgrip ferociously. Neither crab seemed ready to give up though and the battlefield quickly emptied lest someone find themself underfoot at the two titanic crustaceans brawled. Something was missing though, Zeldoten thought, looking around. When a flash of purple disappeared into a walled-off area, she glided overhead.
"Damn that Zeldoten...I was expecting to have this stuff cataloged before she found us," Croco snarled, searching his pocket for another Portal Potion. "I'll just have to grab some stuff at random and-"
"Try to make a fool of me again?" Zeldoten said, finishing his sentence. "Sorry, not happening."
"Hmph. How embarrassing, getting found out before I could set up my fall mouse," Croco sighed. "You really think you can stop me though? A tiny tot like you?"
"Pfft. You're not HALF as dangerous as Undyne the Undying. Not even a quarter!" Zeldoten laughed as she drew a sword. "Not my usual stuff, but it'll do in a pinch."
Then she got body slammed into a wall by a big, muscular crocodile. The Tiefling groaned as the wind was knocked out of her. She quickly slashed at Croco's hide with her claws, making only small cuts in his thick hide. The croc spun quickly, slamming his tail at Zeldoten's head, but she managed a quick roll, narrowly escaping as she slashed the tip of her sword across her foe's scales. Croco growled and lunged forward, trying to snap Zeldoten up in his jaws, clamping down on her sword arm briefly before she began scratching his eye.
A loud screech drew their attention as Clawgrip went soaring overhead, followed by Nibbles climbing over the walls. The two master thieves backed up to avoid being stepped on, each drawing a bomb and hurling it. Dual explosions shook the room, knocking things over and off the walls. Both fighters gasped and panting, each bleeding from new wounds. Zeldoten was smiling though, starting to laugh.
"Something funny? I can keep going all day," Croco snarled.
"Me too." Zeldoten continued laughing as her tail swung around, holding a small wand. She tapped herself on the head and her wounds began to seal. "Magic wands. Don't leave home without them. Hu hu hu hu hu-RK!"
Zeldoten's laughter stuck in her throat as Croco slammed her into a wall, headbutting her repeatedly in his anger. She choked and wheezed, feeling a rib or two break. She swiped as him feebly, only catching his hat and jacket in her attempts before he slapped her with his tail. She lay on the ground, breathing shallowly as Croco chuckled and picked up her wand.
"Well, as fun as this has been, I really MUST be going. Even the local police couldn't have missed that," the croc laughed. "Now, adieu!"
He reached into his pocket for his Portal Potion and...reached in and...and...he heard a hissing behind him and turned to see Zeldoten holding it.
"Looking for this?" Zeldoten asked.
Croco stepped forward as she held up something else: a lit fuse.
"You've been outsmarted by a Master Thief."
He looked on in horror as the fuse burned quickly, making its way from her hand to the floor and up his leg. Too late, he began to reach for the fuse going to his own bombs and...
Zeldoten covered her eyes and recovered her wand from the badly burned Croco. Nibbles looked down at her, eating something. The sounds of battle were also fading, Weasel Banding looking in on her.
"Ready to go, Boss?" Weasel Bandit asked. "Weasel Bandit's got the airship running and Weasel Bandit thinks the cops are coming."
Zeldoten looked down at her defeated rival and pinned a note to him before grabbing his hat. She adjusted the slightly-singed accessory and nodded.
~
Within the hour...
Lucy DeMonde sipped her tea as she wrote Owen Buckley a letter. He may have disappeared to parts unknown, but she had ways of sending him messages regardless. Mostly instructions to practice what she taught him, requests that he not get himself too killed, etc. Nurse Teacups fluttered into the room with her cellphone, the organic screen showing a breaking news story.
Museum thieves captured, all loot recovered with evidence of other robberies confiscated, findings suggest that Zeldoten Renstim was not responsible for several violent robberies committed in her name.
The doktor sipped her tea. "Thank you, Teacups. Remind me to pick up my alchemy kit after the show."
~
Days later...
"Miss Renstim, Mister Nibbles, your set is in twenty minutes..."
The roadie shut the door on her way out, leaving Zeldoten and Nibbles alone to put on their makeup and get into costume.
"This is it! Our first performance!" Zeldoten squealed, covering up her black eye. "This is going to be our biggest heist ever: stealing the hearts of screaming music lovers!"
Nibbles looked at her with a smile as she wrapped her arms around him, carrying him off to the stage.
The show must go on.
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