"Attention patrons: the museum will be closing in one hour."
~
"Attention patrons: the museum will be closing in thirty minutes."
~
"Attention patrons: the museum will be closing in ten minutes."
Zeldoten grumbled, listening to the announcement. She, disguised as a Mysidian tourist, had been touring the museum all afternoon, growing frustrated at all the valuable paintings she couldn't steal without blowing her cover and ruining her own plan. She'd even had that lunch AND dinner at the place's overpriced cafè. She'd even walked through the entire place TWICE, seeing a few other potential thieves and an undercover police officer, the latter of whom she'd actually chatted up a bit in a small wing devoted to Kobbers.
She was dismayed to notice there were no portraits of herself, but a rather large one of that elf. It wasn't even that great; the canvas added about ten pounds. No, she WASN'T jealous.
In any case, she considered using an extract to turn herself invisible, stalk the museum further to see if her quarry would come. She quickly pulled out her museum map and began examining it next to a small map of the city streets.
"Why haven't they showed up yet?" she pondered, trying to be discreet. "If they're going to attack now, it needs to be along the periphery of the museum on the bottom floor..."
Her finger traced the perimeter, Nibbles discreetly looking as well from her collar. Lobby, gift shop, the Kobber exhibit...there! 17th Century paintings of Kuwahawi, displayed along the south side of the museum next to an alleyway. Easy to access, sufficiently discreet, and, of course, right next to the valuables. She slipped behind a pillar out of sight, going unseen until she wanted to be seen.
~
15 minutes past closing...
Museum visitors were all gone, in this wing at least. Zeldoten and Nibble were, at last, alone. The Perfectly Normal Crab came out of hiding and began to skitter around.
"Don't go too far," Zeldoten cautioned. "They still have their cameras. They're pointed at the floor though, so..."
She drank another extract, gaining the ability to climb up walls, finding herself a nice perch at the top of a pillar to wait. If her instincts were correct, she wouldn't have to wait long to get a drop on her enemy. If they weren't, well, they could swipe some overpriced bottles of water from the gift shop and try again after creating some more disguises...and running to Treasure Island to pick up funds.
Yet within minutes, her instincts were proven correct. The roars and growls of automobiles passing by had been at a constant volume before, but the thief's trained ear was picking up something louder, bigger. Something like her own armored truck. And it was approaching fast.
With a loud crash, pieces of wall went flying across the exhibit, knocking over displays, damaging protective cases, and destroying a fire escape. Zeldoten tensed and she reached for a weapon. At least, the thieves were making themselves known! Indeed, the sides of the truck, which looked identical to hers, began to open up...
What the heck were these things? Little guys in hoods with huge bags and robed weirdos in gas masks? They really were thieves though, piling up all kinds of things into their truck. Sadly, this didn't mean that they were HER thieves though.
"Load up zhe loot, you idiots! Zhe cops are on zheir vay! Ve'll make zhem look like fools zhough; nobody can catch Zhe Zeldoten Gang! Gya ha! Gya ha ha!"
The real Zeldoten glared as another costumed figure emerged from the truck in an ill-fitting robe that show off his....EARS? Okay, this was the real insult, she thought, watching this strange person emerge.
"Load up everyzhing into the zhe truck! Ve'll live like KINGS!"
She gave him credit for at least having a tail, but she didn't sound like that and she sure as Hell didn't look like a giant mouse! He didn't even show the right level of enthusiasm when saying "The Zeldoten Gang!!!". And the way he was just blatantly announcing things AFTER his gang were already loading the truck? It HAD to be a show.
She looked Nibbles in the eye and descended dropping to the floor. One of the bag men and a gas mask guy turned in her direction, not seeing her yet. They shrugged and turned away until they fell over, having been bombed from behind.
THAT got everyone's attention. Her spell wore off, revealing her presence.
"Well, well, well...The Zeldoten Gang!!! robbing a museum without even inviting me, ZELDOTEN?" she purred. "How rude of you!"
The giant mouse gasped and sputtered. "N-no, I'M Zeldoten! See?"
Zeldoten was expecting surprise, certainly, but she wasn't expecting the guy to actually toss a bomb at her! Nibbles grew into his battle mode, absorbing the blast.
"Hu hu hu hu hu! Well done, my friend!" Zeldoten chuckled as she drew a dagger. "Let's get...hmm...what WOULD we be getting right now? Revenge? Aggressive?"
"DEAD!" the mouse bellowed. "SHOOT HER!"
Another surprise: the gas masks were...um...spitting bullets at the real deal, cracking Nibbles' shell as the duo ducked behind a pillar. The barrage went on, bullets ricocheting off the stone pillar as they slowly chipped away at it. It was their turn to be caught off-guard as an invisible Giant Friend Crab suddenly became visible and began clubbing them with his big, meaty claws.
Zeldoten herself danced about, tossing bombs of her own and trying to avoid a sudden rain of knives being thrown her way. She even managed to blow a wheel off the truck, preventing her enemies' escape. Mouse Man was quickly rushing towards her though, throwing several bombs. The Tiefling gritted her teeth as some paintings exploded; this was getting out of hand.
It got even more out of hand when MORE gang members poured out of the truck, including an angry-looking Nibbles doppleganger!
The two Brawl Champs quickly regrouped, Zeldoten trying to drive her diminuative dagger into the false crab's shell as Nibbles grappled with it. Some quick Bullet Shield enchantments on the two helped protect them from the incoming fire, but they were stuck, Nibbles pinned in a grapple and Zeldoten unwilling to leave him to save herself. She even resorted to pulling out a crossbow to pick off attackers.
Then the crab backed off, giving Zeldoten a moment of hope.....until another bomb rolled up to Nibbles. The Tiefling shrieked when the explosion threw both of them into the air and into a heap, surrounded by enemies. Angry bandits surrounded the master thieves, knives and bullets being readied until someone snapped their fingers.
The ring of enemies parted as a new bandit stepped forward, flanked by the mouse and the crab. A dapper-looking reptile tipped his top hat as he grinned.
"Allow me to introduce myself, Zeldoten Renstim," the reptile drawled. "The name's Croco, a REAL master thief and the leader of this gang."
Zeldoten started to rise, her body racked with pain from a heat and force greater than she could resist. Nibbles gurgled next to her and twitched.
"As you may have somehow surmised, yes, we're imitating you and committing lots of great crimes in your name."
Zeldoten spat at Croco's spats and almost had her head crushed by the crab. The slow-talking gangster, put a hand on the crab's shoulder, stopping him.
"Now now, Clawgrip, let's not be rude," Croco chuckled. "We can't have the world-famous leader of The Zeldoten Gang!!! be found dead during a heist. That just gives the police more questions to answer."
Zeldoten grinned. "The cops will have all the answers they want when they find us here. Your truck's ruined and I can hear the sirens."
Croco tut-tutted and reached into his bag, pulling out a large potion.
"You know what this is, you little fraud?" Croco asked. "Probably not. You win one little fight by accident and your ego's outpaced your ability."
The purple reptile tossed glass bottle to the side and where it shattered, a big red door appeared. The bandits began to rush from the truck and through the door, carrying their loot into the unknown. The mouse and the crab went through with all the other members of their gang, leaving Croco alone with Zeldoten and the barely-aware Nibbles.
"Thanks for being a wonderful scapegoat, Zeldoten," Croco said, tipping his hat. "We might be able to retire for awhile off of this heist and nobody will ever suspect it."
The crocodile's laughter echoed through the museum until he shut the door, the portal magically disappearing as he did. Zeldoten growled and slammed her fist onto the floor. Not only had she been outplayed, but insulted on a professional level as well! She stood up, reaching into her own bag for some healing items.
"Dammit. We had them too!" Zeldoten growled, fishing out a Cure wand. "We've got a lead at least. We'll just-"
She paused suddenly as the sirens grew louder and dozens of armed officers began to appear through the hole in the wall, pointing their guns at her.
"FREEZE!"
That door is great.
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