The Home Guard

Masaki Shrine, Okayama, Japan

At 7 AM, a woman and her daughter ran around a lake. Behind them were dragons, serpents, and a golem. It was a peculiar sight in most places...or would have been if anyone else were around. The sun rose and the chase continued. The woman shouted: encouragements, curses, promises, and threats. Of all the myriad beings involved in this affair, only she was used to doing it every day. It wasn't until they'd all moved to the region that she'd begun rousing them all for the chase.


"COME ON, YOU SLUGS!" Vina Sealander shouted, running backwards for a moment to watch her Pokemon.

A Zweilous, a Gabite, a Fraxure, a Dragonaire, a Gyarados, a Golurk, a Noivern, a recently-purified Arbok, and a Juraian girl all looked up from their impromptu rest break to keep running after their cruel mistress who insisted they train now that their other mistress, Rebecca, was off in space. Only Bruticus the Golurk failed to look winded and that was likely because nobody was sure if he even could be winded. The ambiguously-alive construct-like Pokemon simply stood in place before running again.

"Are you kidding me?!" Vina called out from a distance. "I'm an old lady! None of you should have trouble keeping up with me!"

The eight Pokemon and the girl looked at each other and nodded.

Then took off running.

"That's more like it!" Vina cheered, laughing as they all passed by. "Final stretch, buckos, then breakfast!"

It had been a few months since the Kobbers had scattered to the four winds and Rebecca had gone to space to battle the rampaging Decepticon armada. Vina, Sasami, and the Sealander Squad had stayed in Vegas for a time, leaving only once all of Yagren's Pokemon victims had been purified and adopted, save for Jorge the Arbok, who had elected to join the Squad, and Alakawhat, who preferred being a Lovecraftian demon who enjoyed exploring the other dimensions with his mind while sipping lemonade.

Alakawhat had also decided not to join the exercising.

Since then, they had moved their starship, the Royal Pain, to a remote rural area in Japan where Sasami's sister was living with a distant relation of some sort. Vina didn't understand the situation completely, especially when it also involved the relation's grandson and five other woman pining for him and...well, there were politics involved that'd threatened to engulf her until she'd shown off her wedding ring.

The morning was off to a good start though. Vina had gotten the rest of her workout done before the run and would make the Squad breakfast once they got home, followed by instructing Sasami in physics and history and...

And the house was on fire. Fortunately, the Royal Pain had been parked AWAY from there.

"I swear, this had better be an alien invasion and not..." Vina muttered.

"I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT TENCHI!" a voice shrieked. "THAT LEVEL OF LEWDNESS IS DEMEANING TO A MAN OF HIS STATURE!"

"Lighten up, Princess! Like you wouldn't look at him that way if nobody were watching!" another voice taunted back.

Vina sighed. It was, in fact, Princess Ayeka and an alien space pirate named Ryoko fighting over some imagined slight or more posturing for that boy Tenchi's affections.

"I shouldn't do this, but then they'd want to bunk on the ship," Vina groaned. "Iku, go douse the flames, then we do breakfast."

The Gyarados complied, spraying the house - and the two quarreling women - with her Hydro Pump as the rest of the squad settled in for breakfast. For a brief moment, long enough to bring a pang of longing to her heart, Vina wondered if Rebecca didn't in fact have the safer job at the moment. She shrugged the thought away, serving up sausage and eggs.

She briefly considered doing something about the quarrel, but chose instead to sit down and eat. Then she got a great idea. One that was surely great and wouldn't make Rebecca freak out if she knew about it.

"Say, Sammy, how would you like to start learning to use Power Armor today? I think I looted a suit from the Brotherhood of Steel that'd fit you..."

On-the-Job Training

Rebecca huffed and puffed as she slowly made her way up the cliff face. Even though her armor had a built-in A/C and a water dispenser, she was sweating bullets with each step up she took. For what seemed like the thousandth time that hour, she switched on her radio back to Vina.

"Hey V, remind me why I'm the one climbing up here and you're back on the ship watching," she asked, more to distract her from the burning in her lungs than to actually get information.

"You're far more stealthy in your body armor than I am flying around in my armor," Vina explained. "I could just charge in guns a'blazing, but then the mark would escape and I'd feel bad."

Rebecca snorted. "Okay, fine, that's reasonable. So why am I carrying Shaggy?"

"Deinos can't use ropes and pulleys and all that fun climbing gear, and you need his help."

Rebecca nodded. "Fine, fine. Why am I carrying Flutters?"

Although unable to hear the conversation over the radio, the Noibat perched on Rebecca's shoulder chirped happily.

"I don't know," Vina answered. "Have you tried asking her to fly herself up?"

Rebecca grunted, pushing herself now that the top of the cliff was in sight. "No. She listens to you and ignores me while making nests out of my shirts."

The next few minutes passed in silence; Rebecca continued to put one hand in front of the other, not breaking her concentration to tell the flying Pokemon to fly. Soon enough, she'd be at the top and she could catch her breath, have a drink, and then set up her weapons to provide some covering fire when Vina actually launched her attack on the bandit camp the two Sealanders had been hired to bust.

Within the camp, bandits milled about as they sorted the goods from their latest haul. Marauding men and women casually exchanged insults, jokes, and anecdotes as they went about their business. Rebecca could see some basic detection equipment - probably good enough to detect tanks, planes, or robot armors - but the camp lacked more than a few bored sentries for keeping out spies.

"Alright, Shag, you sit there while Mama Rebecca sets up her toys."

Rebecca patted the Deino on his head and began setting up several new toys the Sealanders had been given: an automated mortar, a light machine gun, and some kind of tranquilizer-laden missile or something. She wasn't entirely sure what was in it, but she went about setting it up as Vina had repeatedly instructed and drilled her on.

"Good job," Rebecca's wife had said in praise. "We'll make a passable infantryman out of you yet."

Once the last weapon was set up, Rebecca sent a double-click over her radio: the signal for Vina to move in. With the call made, Rebecca immediately activated the weapons. The mortar scattered explosive shells about and the missile shot into a tent and scattered a paralyzing white mist pouring out while Rebecca laid down a blanket of suppressive fire, cutting down any bandit too brave or stupid to find cover. It was a rather easy job: hold down the trigger, move the barrel around, and ignore the occasional bullet casing bouncing off her helmet.

Once the return fire came, it got slightly more serious. Long range pistol shots weren't going to do much to her, but once the bandits got out a grenade launcher, Rebecca was almost convinced to bug out.

Then Vina arrived in 15 feet of heavy metal, firepower, and thrusters; her beloved heirloom power armor Siebzehn. A big blue hulk, Siebzehn barreled through the bandit defenders like it hadn't even noticed they were there. The only sign that Vina HAD noticed anyone in her way was a volley of missiles fired behind her as she burst into the tent and burst out a moment later with an unconscious humanoid in her arms.

"I've got the mark," Vina reported. "Call for the ship and let's go get paid."

Rebecca nodded, summoning their new spacecraft. She could never remember the current name, the ship's serial number, off the top of her head. She really should get around to naming it. That would have to wait though as a bandit had managed to get close to her position.

Rebecca stared down the barrel of a pistol, wondering if a shot at this range would be able to pierce the lenses on her helmet. A purely academic question though, as the bandit soon found his shooting arm clamped between a pair of vicious, burning jaws as Shaggy took offense to someone pointing a gun at his master. Flutters fluttered about, clawing at the bandit's back as the ship finally showed up.

"Alright, pets, it's time to go home," Rebecca ordered, picking up the gear hastily.

Vina and Rebecca in "Hog Hunting Pt 1"

“Madams Vina and Rebecca"

Aboard the tramp freighter Ivory Port, Vina Sealander and her partner-in-crime/wife Rebecca looked at the massive crate with interest. Aside from the note written by Gluttony, there was not a scrap of paper to be found on the container's exterior. Even the courier who delivered the thing didn't even have an invoice or shipping manifest to give to them. Vina briefly thought about getting into a suit of power armor as the couple's pet Deino, Shaggy, pawed at its side.

"I still think we should throw it into space and just go to 264," she decided.

"Oh, come on! Where's the fun in that?" Rebecca protested, grabbing a crow bar. "I want to see what inside."

"Even though the box clearly scans as containing explosive?" Vina asked.

"BECAUSE it clearly scans as containing explosives!" Rebecca countered. "The note even says it has guns in it."

Before Vina could protest any futher, Rebecca had already pried the top off of the box and dove in. The various "ooh" and "aah" sounds attracted the notice of Flutters, the Sealanders' other pet Pokemon, a Noibat, who looked into the box and almost fell off as Rebecca popped out hefting a large weapon.

"Check it out! A light machine gun, a bundle of RPGs, and even a big ass bazooka!"

Rebecca dove back into the crate, examining the contents even as Flutters hopped in. The Noibat squealed happily as he flew back out wearing a pair of goggles.

"Come back! The goggles...they do something!" Rebecca shouted, finally pulling herself out.

Vina casually continued to watch her partner wallow in a pile of unarmed explosives and armor-piercing ammunition. By this time, Shaggy had scampered off to play in the galley or the escape pod or the reactor core...Vina was never sure where the little Pokemon got to.

"I hope you realize that you just volunteered to inventory those bullets you're so happily scattering," she said at last.

That put an end to Rebecca's shenanigans at least. Probably temporarily, but oh well.

"Alright, alright, I'll count the bullets later," Rebecca conceded. "Does this mean we're going to Sector 246?"

Vina nodded. "It's half of Gluttony's gift after all. So thoughtful of him even though we barely know him."

Vina then spun around on her heel, heading off to find Shaggy as a steady "1...2...3..." echoed behind her.