Josephine could do TOTALLY AWESOME LIFE OR DEATH TRICKS here!
Valhalla may never be the same
"He looked cool."
"Do you think I'd want the Dana Weenie to be my final impression of hot dogs?"
"You sound like we're trying to rob Honoka"
Someone had to light the candles on the cookie cake, right?
"TOOT NO MORE, EVILDOER!"
"Beep, boop. Neeko is metal person. Kwatz."
Eternity is rapturously describing her knife collection
computers didn't forget about warrants.
“Yes, Simone’s still here!”
"ELLIOTT! TWO Ls, TWO Ts!"
"So you better start spilling the beans before I start shaking them out of you!"
"...by Jim Dale."
"I can't give you what you're after." He snorted. "Not for thirty-eight years."
"You keep talking, for some reason"
Weirdos or Cannibals?
after having once had to destroy his creation when it had attempted to turn upon him, he would soon experience Gunpla as it was meant to be.
Prisons were not nice places.
"you're on the verge of your own harem."
With just the right touch of movie magic, the Conductor was able to go Super Saiyan Infinity and save the soul of the ninth Big Bar Brawl.
"Just eat the biscuit, Svankmejer!"
"Hi Fleur! Hi Fermi! I bet I won't remember your names"
"So 'Mega Christmas' is actually a thing, huh?"
"You're the chick who disappeared!"
"Got a line of ginger-headed men to thank for suffering"
ridikerous
"I'm gonna put you on the grill and shove a stick through ya!"
She didn't know what a fuck was, or how she knew about it. But it seemed like the best word to use at the moment.
Jesus smirkingly held up a pot
"Why do you got preschoolers as bodyguards?"
"THE VEG DID IT"
the bathroom, which was, much to her shock, absolutely pristine.
“WARRGGHHH-!” WHACK.
Much as I hate to ruin how my last entry finished like it was right out of a horror story
“Oh that Dawn, yeah she’s...acceptable.”
"Honestly, I'm ashamed of me."
It was always embarrassing for any upstanding Undercity crook to be forced to admit that they'd lost to the Valkyries.
"We're SCIENTISTS, not WIZARDS, Sonja-"
“There ARE beneficial parasites."
a few obnoxious swerves of pencil on the pad
So nothing like popcorn.
“...I did hit the right person, didn’t I?”
If anyone could be relied on to punch downward, it was a radio DJ.
The kunoichi was a pure WTF sight
"GET IN DONKEY KONG'S CHAMBERS."
how DID things start off on May 1st?
"H-ho-hold on! I need my mask! I need to get dressed!"
"It's not strange for people to have quiet, simple lives."
Thursday, April 30, 2020
Sunday, April 26, 2020
Big Bar Brawl 9 Ticker Quote Archive
the odd “Robbie Righteous”
Futo wouldn’t be bothered by a runny nose
he had a robe to wipe his nose on
a time-activated boot
“What did you think you were getting into?” Mac asks. “I don’t know, weird Kwanzaa PR or something!"
"White Kwanzaa, Green Kwanzaa… we got a brand thing going here!”
take advantage of Rizzrack’s tree hate
and Grey Moon… shot them.
Car Fu
while it did look pretty cool, it wasn’t what she was going for!
delegating that task to Robbie Righteous who promptly didn’t do it.
“Do that 70 or so more times and this will be a walk in the park!”
okay, she wasn’t calm.
“Stowaways, eh?” he says, drawing a knife nearly as big as he is.
Dana pounds the beast’s head to make it shoot ketchup and mustard at The Conductor
“Good bye my glorious ride,” she says with a sniffle
Hot Dog Monster was getting soggy
his “I never doubted it” not assuaging Taserface’s concerns
It certainly wasn’t a toe tapper
The Conductor falls asleep at the wheel
Toothy’s face was filled with coins
and then Grey Moon drops Mr. Mucus.
“I’m trying to leave this body”
"one Funky Cop without Dick"
The Badass Plague Tank
Over with the Brawl giants, Gunn
He did feel a little neutered with his tail gone now though.
"I’ll just head on over and incinerate him."
While things were nice and harmonious with that trio
Vahni shouts, currently in her princess form
“Is it fite time?”
“I DIDN’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS!” Daiyousei yells
“TO ME, MY CADDIE!”
Metal golf clubs were now firing down into all parts of the arena
Elvis Impersonator just stood on the ground and waited for a chance to contribute
Tressa focuses hard and… Sidesteps! Yup. That’s an ability for her
Wicked Witch of the West was still hassling a group of fiters.
an entire air force of Flying Monkeys
"GO TEAM RAINBOW!”
“AHHH! I’M ON FIRE!” Bulk yells because he was, in fact, on fire.
that is something that isn’t actually too strange for a Big Bar Brawl all things considered
LLARNESS IS LLARNESS
MAGOLOR IS NOT WEAK
“Never underestimate the cute ones,” he says, pulling his other hand back
MAGOLOR IS WEAK
Hank was no ordinary man.
“ELEANORE! I WILL NOT BE DENIED OUR FATED BATTLE!” Taserface yelled, running towards the group… only to see Eleanore’s smoking legs
Eleanore’s remains were still close enough
Hank really did feel like an unkillable man, even more so than Toothy which is a fun comparison that makes perfect logical sense.
Makes vomit disappear
BK was moving his hole
Half the chatroom assured him he would be, and the other half was mocking him for not killing anyone yet.
“He can’t kill us all. He’s leaving the roots…” she says a little louder
"Thought I’d try to kill one of them, see if that spices things up.”
but BK wasn’t lying.
Steve the Sock (Don’t Tread on Him)
this wasn’t just an attack on Ace’s fashion after all.
“This one is not retreating”
And then Hank happened.
“YOU’RE FITING HIM ALL WRONG!” she shouts.
Pitohui stops walking for a second, her nose bleeding and broken… but her smile wider.
“Can I come and play in the cave?”
she tries to whistle like a traffic cop, only to make a wet sputtering noise instead
Heat Miser was immediately feeling ill
"so it falls on someone to do the admittedly easy yet morally dirty work.”
manifesting a guitar club as he heads for the old ladies…
she suddenly was fiting tons of owls on top of the blue aliens
The dog couldn’t dodge every bullet
Earth gnaws on Ren
Borodan didn’t want to admit the plan was flawed
“This is your chance to flee.”
his precious chemicals
Meat Boy still had the Levin Sword.
he saw a strange bulge in Esme’s sock
She takes the grenade, pulls it back… and is immediately tackled by owls
spray their assimilation juice onto the old lady’s face
Meat Boy might as well be holding an ice cream cone instead of a deadly explosive
the dog princess
“This one could have very much liked you if you were not wretched criminal scum,”
"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch? Because I’m thinking you’re A DEAD WITCH!”
Pest was being a pest, so at least he was staying on brand
Cerato immediately panicking
Daipenmon’s almost sleepy attitude was stirred by the request
giant sticks that didn’t even have jokes on them now
he pops open to deposit a perfectly fine Patty
the nanomachines in him working to correct the spine damage
When the train hit Chompette… it hadn’t really gained enough speed
“It can’t already be broken!” he laments, popping out of it and hugging it
only Taserface was going out of his way to kill raccoons
“Run ye wee babies, run! This is my Brawl!"
"Did DJ Peck Neck think he could drop in some garish advertising for his cruddy penguin movies?"
“I’m tired of this motherpecking rat on me motherpecking train!”
just because a sock and a booger man can hold their own here doesn’t mean you can.
he wasn’t just killing them for the fun of it either.
“You made your grave. Now sleep in it!”
There was no Catapult DLC set right now though
BK looks up from the Trashopedia to watch his hole.
"YOU ARE CUUUUUUUUURSED!”
BK gives up the ghost
Vince and Llarness now found themselves standing alone
“Taserface it is!”
Hellcow did seem like a threat
Ren was now a vampire.
Peko let out an exasperated sigh as she knew this could be a complication
Neeko begs Joy not to give her another gem, Joy hands of the Wind one
After all, Baba HAS Crown
“Anyone seen Futo?” Plague finally asks
Elsewhere, Moltar was on the move
Neptune couldn’t just expose herself to reclaim her weapon though! That kind of stuff should be paid DLC!
“This is victory.” Says a strange voice, and suddenly, Joshy
Gendarmor, on the other hand, couldn’t really continue without a head.
“WE GOT VAMPIRES NOW!”
There are many theories behind this, the chaos making it easier to catch them unawares, the identification as a group lessening the self-preservation instinct, the fact it’s easier to write away a bunch of characters dying instead of giving each a personalized dramatic death
Unity waits… but nothing happens. “Super speed.”
Joshy seemed to believe he was now the undisputed winner since the competition was dead
Flying monkey skeletons, Shrapnel skeletons, raccoon skeletons, and even Timbersaw
“Can’t cry for your mom now!” Ostarion laughs. “Actually, he can,”
BABA is CROWNED
And begins singing Blue Suede Shoes.
“Holllllly hells, that creature’s gone Godbeast!”
Robbie Rotten as still unaccounted for
"VOLCANO! Isn’t that badass?”
Robbie quickly tosses a net over to cover Moltar, and Plague laughs.
“You’re store lady! The big boob seller!”
But then the lightbulb.
The kratt begins to slide out from underneath him, locking itself to Kaede’s butt
Kaduh
“I listen… I didn’t remember the answers, but I remember the stories.”
Robbie keeping up the tickle until Plague approaches and aims his machine gun
"The heart is the most important piece, isn’t it? It’s what lets us love after all!”
“YO! Why you think I’m holding this boy’s ass in place? Shoot him dead already!”
“Neeko… strong tomato."
“Guess that stuff coming out of you is ketchup then”
A headbutt wouldn’t harm Rennie, but it made Aiko see stars
"So I’m going to help you find out how cool you are!” “By killing her?”
"Well all I need to do then is make the sun come out!” Rainbow Dash says, the clouds above parting to show… the moon.
But it did call mamma hen to roost.
Biscotti creating a hologram of BIG CHUNGUS
“What happened to friendship is magic?” Kisha said, now in her princess form.
Kisha steps back from her kill, moderating her breath to calm down… only for two buxom succubi to sandwich her between them
farewell to BIG CHUNGUS
Almaric had tapped into the wand’s potential to turn its wielder into a magical girl!
suddenly a blast of flying puppies
“Man, I should have really made his death about online trolling,” Biscotti sighs
Wrexer lead the charge.
“Use your toys!” Sue urges the dinosaur
the dinosaur managing to reduce her to meaty chunks before he has to spit her out because of the ashy taste.
“You just got Wrexed.”
The Elvis Impersonator knew what he had to do… he had to eat himself free.
Right as Build dies though, Wrexer begins to choke
“I’ve got a train to hell with all ye names on it!”
She would have to kill cool people to get to first place
Plopping a golf ball to the ground, she brings her club back and slams it into it hard
"I AM, THE RAGELOPE!”
it’s not like there’s a stand selling Gatorade to pep you up.
Her master really was dead
“PLAGUE SUCKS!” Patty yells from far away.
“MISSION COMPLETE! THE CURSE HAS BEEN DEFEATED!”
Kisha. Sonia. Maple. Lily. Morgan.
ass-ault
“That’s not… ninth.” She says, before dropping back dead.
the hideous monster letting out a delicate meow
It’s got the body of a cat and the face of a cat, and it flies through the air because it has a cat face! Catface!
"Bleeding is just too much effort.”
“Just don’t make my death all weak and shit."
“I’ll have a Blue… Christmas… without you…” “KWANZAA!”
“DEATH FROM A THOUSAND PAPER CUTS!” Sonia calls out
a pillow fort had deterred a shooter.
Blasto makes sure Patty gets all his weapons, the cop laden down with his many holsters
What could kill the reaper?
“You look different without the train.”
“IF I GOT NOTHING ELSE, I’LL BITE YA!”
If you do something subtly enough, people might not notice you’re doing it at all.
The final fiting cop of the ZFPD slumps down, dropping her weapons and falling before the goddess of death herself, Komachi Onozuka.
Futo wouldn’t be bothered by a runny nose
he had a robe to wipe his nose on
a time-activated boot
“What did you think you were getting into?” Mac asks. “I don’t know, weird Kwanzaa PR or something!"
"White Kwanzaa, Green Kwanzaa… we got a brand thing going here!”
take advantage of Rizzrack’s tree hate
and Grey Moon… shot them.
Car Fu
while it did look pretty cool, it wasn’t what she was going for!
delegating that task to Robbie Righteous who promptly didn’t do it.
“Do that 70 or so more times and this will be a walk in the park!”
okay, she wasn’t calm.
“Stowaways, eh?” he says, drawing a knife nearly as big as he is.
Dana pounds the beast’s head to make it shoot ketchup and mustard at The Conductor
“Good bye my glorious ride,” she says with a sniffle
Hot Dog Monster was getting soggy
his “I never doubted it” not assuaging Taserface’s concerns
It certainly wasn’t a toe tapper
The Conductor falls asleep at the wheel
Toothy’s face was filled with coins
and then Grey Moon drops Mr. Mucus.
“I’m trying to leave this body”
"one Funky Cop without Dick"
The Badass Plague Tank
Over with the Brawl giants, Gunn
He did feel a little neutered with his tail gone now though.
"I’ll just head on over and incinerate him."
While things were nice and harmonious with that trio
Vahni shouts, currently in her princess form
“Is it fite time?”
“I DIDN’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS!” Daiyousei yells
“TO ME, MY CADDIE!”
Metal golf clubs were now firing down into all parts of the arena
Elvis Impersonator just stood on the ground and waited for a chance to contribute
Tressa focuses hard and… Sidesteps! Yup. That’s an ability for her
Wicked Witch of the West was still hassling a group of fiters.
an entire air force of Flying Monkeys
"GO TEAM RAINBOW!”
“AHHH! I’M ON FIRE!” Bulk yells because he was, in fact, on fire.
that is something that isn’t actually too strange for a Big Bar Brawl all things considered
LLARNESS IS LLARNESS
MAGOLOR IS NOT WEAK
“Never underestimate the cute ones,” he says, pulling his other hand back
MAGOLOR IS WEAK
Hank was no ordinary man.
“ELEANORE! I WILL NOT BE DENIED OUR FATED BATTLE!” Taserface yelled, running towards the group… only to see Eleanore’s smoking legs
Eleanore’s remains were still close enough
Hank really did feel like an unkillable man, even more so than Toothy which is a fun comparison that makes perfect logical sense.
Makes vomit disappear
BK was moving his hole
Half the chatroom assured him he would be, and the other half was mocking him for not killing anyone yet.
“He can’t kill us all. He’s leaving the roots…” she says a little louder
"Thought I’d try to kill one of them, see if that spices things up.”
but BK wasn’t lying.
Steve the Sock (Don’t Tread on Him)
this wasn’t just an attack on Ace’s fashion after all.
“This one is not retreating”
And then Hank happened.
“YOU’RE FITING HIM ALL WRONG!” she shouts.
Pitohui stops walking for a second, her nose bleeding and broken… but her smile wider.
“Can I come and play in the cave?”
she tries to whistle like a traffic cop, only to make a wet sputtering noise instead
Heat Miser was immediately feeling ill
"so it falls on someone to do the admittedly easy yet morally dirty work.”
manifesting a guitar club as he heads for the old ladies…
she suddenly was fiting tons of owls on top of the blue aliens
The dog couldn’t dodge every bullet
Earth gnaws on Ren
Borodan didn’t want to admit the plan was flawed
“This is your chance to flee.”
his precious chemicals
Meat Boy still had the Levin Sword.
he saw a strange bulge in Esme’s sock
She takes the grenade, pulls it back… and is immediately tackled by owls
spray their assimilation juice onto the old lady’s face
Meat Boy might as well be holding an ice cream cone instead of a deadly explosive
the dog princess
“This one could have very much liked you if you were not wretched criminal scum,”
"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch? Because I’m thinking you’re A DEAD WITCH!”
Pest was being a pest, so at least he was staying on brand
Cerato immediately panicking
Daipenmon’s almost sleepy attitude was stirred by the request
giant sticks that didn’t even have jokes on them now
he pops open to deposit a perfectly fine Patty
the nanomachines in him working to correct the spine damage
When the train hit Chompette… it hadn’t really gained enough speed
“It can’t already be broken!” he laments, popping out of it and hugging it
only Taserface was going out of his way to kill raccoons
“Run ye wee babies, run! This is my Brawl!"
"Did DJ Peck Neck think he could drop in some garish advertising for his cruddy penguin movies?"
“I’m tired of this motherpecking rat on me motherpecking train!”
just because a sock and a booger man can hold their own here doesn’t mean you can.
he wasn’t just killing them for the fun of it either.
“You made your grave. Now sleep in it!”
There was no Catapult DLC set right now though
BK looks up from the Trashopedia to watch his hole.
"YOU ARE CUUUUUUUUURSED!”
BK gives up the ghost
Vince and Llarness now found themselves standing alone
“Taserface it is!”
Hellcow did seem like a threat
Ren was now a vampire.
Peko let out an exasperated sigh as she knew this could be a complication
Neeko begs Joy not to give her another gem, Joy hands of the Wind one
After all, Baba HAS Crown
“Anyone seen Futo?” Plague finally asks
Elsewhere, Moltar was on the move
Neptune couldn’t just expose herself to reclaim her weapon though! That kind of stuff should be paid DLC!
“This is victory.” Says a strange voice, and suddenly, Joshy
Gendarmor, on the other hand, couldn’t really continue without a head.
“WE GOT VAMPIRES NOW!”
There are many theories behind this, the chaos making it easier to catch them unawares, the identification as a group lessening the self-preservation instinct, the fact it’s easier to write away a bunch of characters dying instead of giving each a personalized dramatic death
Unity waits… but nothing happens. “Super speed.”
Joshy seemed to believe he was now the undisputed winner since the competition was dead
Flying monkey skeletons, Shrapnel skeletons, raccoon skeletons, and even Timbersaw
“Can’t cry for your mom now!” Ostarion laughs. “Actually, he can,”
BABA is CROWNED
And begins singing Blue Suede Shoes.
“Holllllly hells, that creature’s gone Godbeast!”
Robbie Rotten as still unaccounted for
"VOLCANO! Isn’t that badass?”
Robbie quickly tosses a net over to cover Moltar, and Plague laughs.
“You’re store lady! The big boob seller!”
But then the lightbulb.
The kratt begins to slide out from underneath him, locking itself to Kaede’s butt
Kaduh
“I listen… I didn’t remember the answers, but I remember the stories.”
Robbie keeping up the tickle until Plague approaches and aims his machine gun
"The heart is the most important piece, isn’t it? It’s what lets us love after all!”
“YO! Why you think I’m holding this boy’s ass in place? Shoot him dead already!”
“Neeko… strong tomato."
“Guess that stuff coming out of you is ketchup then”
A headbutt wouldn’t harm Rennie, but it made Aiko see stars
"So I’m going to help you find out how cool you are!” “By killing her?”
"Well all I need to do then is make the sun come out!” Rainbow Dash says, the clouds above parting to show… the moon.
But it did call mamma hen to roost.
Biscotti creating a hologram of BIG CHUNGUS
“What happened to friendship is magic?” Kisha said, now in her princess form.
Kisha steps back from her kill, moderating her breath to calm down… only for two buxom succubi to sandwich her between them
farewell to BIG CHUNGUS
Almaric had tapped into the wand’s potential to turn its wielder into a magical girl!
suddenly a blast of flying puppies
“Man, I should have really made his death about online trolling,” Biscotti sighs
Wrexer lead the charge.
“Use your toys!” Sue urges the dinosaur
the dinosaur managing to reduce her to meaty chunks before he has to spit her out because of the ashy taste.
“You just got Wrexed.”
The Elvis Impersonator knew what he had to do… he had to eat himself free.
Right as Build dies though, Wrexer begins to choke
“I’ve got a train to hell with all ye names on it!”
She would have to kill cool people to get to first place
Plopping a golf ball to the ground, she brings her club back and slams it into it hard
"I AM, THE RAGELOPE!”
it’s not like there’s a stand selling Gatorade to pep you up.
Her master really was dead
“PLAGUE SUCKS!” Patty yells from far away.
“MISSION COMPLETE! THE CURSE HAS BEEN DEFEATED!”
Kisha. Sonia. Maple. Lily. Morgan.
ass-ault
“That’s not… ninth.” She says, before dropping back dead.
the hideous monster letting out a delicate meow
It’s got the body of a cat and the face of a cat, and it flies through the air because it has a cat face! Catface!
"Bleeding is just too much effort.”
“Just don’t make my death all weak and shit."
“I’ll have a Blue… Christmas… without you…” “KWANZAA!”
“DEATH FROM A THOUSAND PAPER CUTS!” Sonia calls out
a pillow fort had deterred a shooter.
Blasto makes sure Patty gets all his weapons, the cop laden down with his many holsters
What could kill the reaper?
“You look different without the train.”
“IF I GOT NOTHING ELSE, I’LL BITE YA!”
If you do something subtly enough, people might not notice you’re doing it at all.
The final fiting cop of the ZFPD slumps down, dropping her weapons and falling before the goddess of death herself, Komachi Onozuka.
Monday, April 13, 2020
Getter Out Of Here: Tales from the Dark Star's Universe
"CHANGE GETTER-!"
I must have said those words hundreds of times since Dark Matter began invading Earth and...well...its victory over the Kobbers. Us included, I suppose. Oh, I should introduce myself.
My name is Yoshiko Tsushima. Along with my friends You Watanabe and Hanamaru Kunikida, I was a pilot for the fantastic super robot Getter Robo! With three forms powered by an incredible energy source from space and with us members of the Stratford Institute of Technology and Robotics piloting, it helped to defend the Earth against alien invaders and hostile would-be tyrants! For years, we scored victory after victory over Dark Matter's robot monsters that attacked us to steal Professor Stratford's fantastic Getter Ray technology!
In hindsight, it seems like we were merely a sideshow for the actual invasion, always seeming to get attacked by one or two...what did the Professor call them?...Mechasauruses, I think. Dark Matter's minions would always attack us in small groups every few days, sometimes as long as a month apart. We didn't know where they came from, but they were almost always formidable opponents, even for our magnificent Getter Robo, but through teamwork and perseverance, we always pulled through, triumphing over everything thrown at us!
As long as the great Getter Team of Yohane, Zura, and the Captain - oh, those were the nicknames me, Hanamaru, and You went by, really...kind of silly in hindsight but we were...naive. Anyway, as long as we were together, would couldn't ever lose, we told ourselves!
And then the murders began.
Well, murders is a dramatic way of saying it, but Dark Matter stopped taking us so lightly one day, about a month before...well...let's not get ahead of ourselves. As the years went by, we lost contact with more and more Kobbers. Some must have died, others were captured. We know this because the Mechasaurus stopped coming and in their place were the Kobbers. Big ones.
The first was Labrys, an android captured and reprogrammed by Dark Matter's pet scientists and fused with a powerful mech buried beneath Las Vegas. We called it Big O. That was the first time any of us Getter pilots had actually been injured ourselves; plenty of mechanical damage, but we'd always maintained an aura of personal invincibility. It was tougher than anything we'd faced and was armed to the teeth. It went down swinging, landing one last punch on Hanamura's Getter-3 before it died, almost crushing my friend.
Just days later, with Hanamura still in bandages as she piloted, we were challenged by God Neptune. From what we knew, Decepticon pirates had actually come to Earth to take advantage of the chaos caused by Dark Matter to harvest the world for Energon Cubes to take off-world. Dangerous work, but potentially valuable enough that they could retire. Well, Dark Matter caught wind of them and subsumed them as well, adding their powerful combined form to its forces. It might not have been as powerful as Big O, but with so many minds in one body, it was hard to actually kill and nearly killed You.
King J-Der...we had no idea where it came from or who was piloting it...if it even had one. All we knew was we were up against our most formidable opponent ever when it showed up, towering over our Getter Robo. We'd never faced anything so large and, until recently, heavily armed. Our energy attacks washed over its barrier like water and none of our projectiles were having much luck either. This enemy was big and strong, able to withstand anything we threw at it and able to match us move for move. We pulled out all the stops, flying at speeds that almost made us black out, reckless attacks that almost got us killed multiple times but were all we could do to land a decisive hit, and mustering all of the courage and teamwork we could to finally bring it down. By the end of the battle, I was the only one left conscious in Getter Robo; You was knocked unconscious when we took a missile hit and Hanamaru passed out from exhaustion trying to match King J-Der's strength.
Whoever Dark Matter had put in charge of attacking us for so many years must have been feeling confident that morning. I awoke that day in the medical ward to find the Institute in chaos, an evacuation in-progress as staff and researching were emptying the building of equipment and documents and hauling them off in whatever vehicles they could find. The only person who didn't seem to be participating in the furious terror was Professor Stratford herself, who simply stood in the control room watching the monitor, where our last opponent had appeared that morning and stood patiently.
Godzilla.
God. Fucking. Zilla.
My blood turned to ice and my heart stopped as I stood next to the brilliant genius, amazed that even the most powerful lifeform on the planet had eventually succumbed to the machinations of Dark Matter. Our enemy was done playing around; we were no longer needed for the greater war effort so we were going to be stomped out of existence. Why just stand there though? Why not attack?
My shock and confusion must have been evident. Professor Stratford - Deb, as she always insisted we call her and never did - just looked at me with a sad smile.
"He's waiting for you," was all she said.
Our enemy had something to prove then. For a moment, I was unable to move. You and Hanamura - my Captain and Zura - were in no condition to pilot Getter Robo. It was more or less repaired, but we pilots weren't so easy to fix. The robot could be piloted by one person, sure, but nowhere near full strength. After a few tense moments, my heart was beating again, threatening to tear itself out of my chest as I began heading to the hangar.
"You're not going to fight though."
I turned and Professor Stratford was busy on a console, typing rapidly.
I turned and Professor Stratford was busy on a console, typing rapidly.
"You can't win, Yoshiko. We both know it. Captain and Zura were the first ones out. Everyone is leaving, you included."
I stopped. "But...Getter Robo..."
"Take Getter Robo and fly away, as far as you can," she ordered. "You'll find someone who can help you...somewhere."
Tears welled up in my eyes. "But what about you?" The ground began to tremble. Was Godzilla making a move now?
The professor...Deb...took a photograph out of her pocket. It was amazing how much she'd seemed to age in just a few years, but she looked at it once and then pocketed it. "Don't you worry. I'm going home to see my boys after this, I promise."
I stopped. "But...Getter Robo..."
"Take Getter Robo and fly away, as far as you can," she ordered. "You'll find someone who can help you...somewhere."
Tears welled up in my eyes. "But what about you?" The ground began to tremble. Was Godzilla making a move now?
The professor...Deb...took a photograph out of her pocket. It was amazing how much she'd seemed to age in just a few years, but she looked at it once and then pocketed it. "Don't you worry. I'm going home to see my boys after this, I promise."
Her boys... She'd often talked about her two sons in the present tense, but we'd never met or seen them ourselves. Her closest aides had been tight-lipped on the subject and she'd always treated us pilots like her kids. She sounded confident though, a reassuring statement that was good enough for me at the time. Something about it still bothered me, but in the heat of the moment I couldn't remember why.
It wasn't until later that I realized what she'd really meant.
As I ran down the hall, it was amazing how the chaos managed to be almost orderly. Then again, there was currently only urgency and no danger yet. The enemy was at the door and waiting to be let in. The absurd politeness would've made me laugh if things weren't so dire. Nobody stopped me, nobody tried to guide me anywhere; too busy taking care of their own work, probably assumed I was going to do the same.
The hangar was empty. Getter Robo had been prepared for launch and then the entire crew had evacuated. Unlike everywhere else in the Institute, it was deathly quiet in there. I could hear my footsteps echoing through the massive room, designed to store, maintain, and deploy a 40-meter tall robot. It wasn't until I boarded that I realized with a pain in my heart that I was alone. Even when things had been at their worst, I'd had my friends and copilots to talk to, to joke with and be scared with. Now it was just me and-
"Yoshiko."
Professor Stratford's voice came through the speakers suddenly as her image appeared in the cockpit, getting a jump out of me.
Professor Stratford's voice came through the speakers suddenly as her image appeared in the cockpit, getting a jump out of me.
"Yes, Professor?"
The ground trembled. I had a feeling what the problem was.
The ground trembled. I had a feeling what the problem was.
"I'm sorry. I was hoping to wait for everyone to leave, but the enemy is moving in. They must have known you were about to take off," she explained regretfully.
"I'll fight him!" I swore. "I can-!"
"No!" she cut in sharply. "You will do no such thing. I...I'm going to detonate the reactor."
A massive Getter Ray-powered reactor that provided the entire Institute with its energy, a huge self-sustaining energy source full of volatile power. There was no way anyone still in the Institute would survive.
A massive Getter Ray-powered reactor that provided the entire Institute with its energy, a huge self-sustaining energy source full of volatile power. There was no way anyone still in the Institute would survive.
"I know what you're thinking. I've made up my mind," Professor Stratford sighed. "You can make it though if you leave now."
The ground trembled again. Or maybe it was just me taking in what she was saying. Tears ran down my cheeks as I shook my head. "I won't leave you, Deb!"
"Took you long enough to call me that." The older woman smiled. "I won't lose any more youngsters to the Dark Matter though."
I looked at the monitor, confused. As Deb continued to work though and the hangar doors began opening, it hit me: one of the first targets hit by Dark Matter when it started its war was Deb's hometown. Almost everyone killed in the fighting; Deb has survived by being here overseeing construction of the Institute.
The ground trembled again. Or maybe it was just me taking in what she was saying. Tears ran down my cheeks as I shook my head. "I won't leave you, Deb!"
"Took you long enough to call me that." The older woman smiled. "I won't lose any more youngsters to the Dark Matter though."
I looked at the monitor, confused. As Deb continued to work though and the hangar doors began opening, it hit me: one of the first targets hit by Dark Matter when it started its war was Deb's hometown. Almost everyone killed in the fighting; Deb has survived by being here overseeing construction of the Institute.
It snapped into place as a timer to the reactor's detonation began to tick down. Sixty seconds until a small apocalypse occurred in front of me, whether the atomic dinosaur steadily stomping towards us or the devastating bomb that had been my home for a few years. One way or another though?
Deb was going home.
The next ten seconds were a life-changing blur. All I could see as Getter Robo began flying into the air was the explosion, expanding outward from the building, destroying everything in its path. Moments before it engulfed me, I could see it hitting the King of the Monsters, reducing it to dust. I don't know why, but the Getter explosion destroyed it in a strange, horrible way: melting the flesh from its bones and then reducing those bones to atoms. It roared defiantly until the end though as the light engulfed me as well.
When I woke up, I was tired, hungry, and in pain. Everything was dark except for a few lights on the control panel, but nothing felt right. I felt...light? When the camera finally turned on, I found myself staring at a sea of stars: I wasn't on Earth anymore. I looked about in a panic only to find myself above...Jupiter?! The largest planet in the solar system sat beneath me, turning without a care in the world as I tried to get my bearings.
And that's where I am now, drifting through space, starving to death, and alone except for bad memories. Do I even WANT to return to Earth though? Better to die as myself than be subsumed by Dark Matter.
Wait...
Is that a ship?! It's...it's MASSIVE.
That's weird...
Why does it have a large face on it?
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