KUWAHAWI CITY, Kuw - Tragedy struck at the Kuwahawi National History Museum last night as a daring criminal group identifying itself as The Zeldoten Gang!!! launched a daring robbery against the beloved institution. Witnesses say that robbery began when a large armored vehicle fired an explosive projectile at the northern wall of the museum and drove into the building. Onlookers who attempted to see the crime in progress were attacked as twenty-eight to thirty-two masked gunmen opened fire, mostly in the air, to deter witnesses.
Police and fire crews responded immediately as the building began to be consumed by fires causing by the explosive entry into the museum, but the fire response was delayed until police could apprehend the armed thieves. The thieves were armed with more explosive devices however, throwing hand grenades at police vehicles, prompting a stand-off while nearby national guard units could be mobilized.
Before any arrests could be attempted though, two figures believed to the the gang's ringleaders, Zeldoten and Nibbles Renstim, were seen carrying valuable artwork to their vehicle. Upon loading their stolen goods into their vehicle, the gang members reboarded the truck and blasted their way through another way. Museum curators estimate the total cost of damages to the museum and its collection to be well into the tens of millions of krowns.
Arrest warrants have been issued for known members of The Zeldoten Gang!!! If you have information, please dial the authorities at...
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Zeldoten looked at the newspaper and then looked at Nibbles. Nibbles was enjoying toast with jam. Yum yum! She looked at the newspaper again, squinting to hide some hidden meaning to the article.
"We weren't in Kuwahawi City last night..."
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