Volume 4 begins with Parsee, bandaged up after he brutal fight with the ogre, looking upon the ruins of her workplace. It turns out the ogre's club went flying after its arm was blown off and landed in the convenience store. To be honest, last we saw the club, it was lying in the middle of the street but the author is probably hoping nobody notices that plot hole.
Parsee sighs as her friend Yuugi walks up. The two banter a bit with Parsee remarking she was thinking of quitting anyway before walking off to get a sandwich. She spends her afternoon eating a sandwich and watching people walk by, silently envying them for random reason. She finds herself being joined by enigmatic food critic Xavier Cian De Lovouse, who remarks that he didn't get Parsee's name. She introduces herself and notes that he's got three sandwiches.
He smiles and says he needs to sample everything if he's going to criticize it properly. She laughs and cracks jokes about the many happy couples who walk by.
Perhaps a bit TOO happy?
A pandemic of love appears to be spreading across town, causing random strangers to fall in love with each and, oddly, with random objects or immaterial concepts. Parsee and Xavier watch such things unfold with amusement at first, followed by concern. Parsee finished lunch and heads home.
That evening, a horrifying monster attacks a movie theater, a serpentine Cupid armed with a sparkling, heart-covered, sinister longbow rains arrows upon the citizens, making them fall deeply in love with the strange creature before realizing they've been maimed.
Riders gonna ride though as the Envy Driver pulls up to the scene and Kamen Rider Hime flips off of her bike and into the air.
She is promptly pelted with arrows.
None of which get through her armor.
The love snake stares in shock as Kamen Rider Hime runs up and slugs him, dislocating his jaw, before kneeing him in the gut. The creature introduces itself as Tough Love as its tail wraps around the Rider, squeezing her tight and holding her still for a point blank arrow shot. Hime stares at the arrow for a moment before headbutting it, knocking it free of the bow as she slips an arm free to Paru Paru Punch Tough Love's tail.
The monster lets go, notching another arrow as Kamen Rider Hime rushes forward, grabbing the last arrow off the ground and using it to cut the bowstring. Tough Love hisses angrily and begins rattling his tail, hypnotizing movegoers and bringing them in close. Hime leaps into the air to avoid being tackled by innocent civilians and brings her foot down on Tough Love's face. The serpent grabs Hime's ankle before she can dodge and slams her into the pavement, then begins spitting venom that has the effect of rain splashing on a wind shield.
The two continue their fight, exchanging blows until Tough Love takes a hostage, threatening to constrict his victim if Kamen Rider Hime doesn't surrender. She lowers her hands. Tough Love hisses and begins squeezing anyway.
Suddenly, the snake is hissing in pain as Envy Driver runs over his tail, severing it and releasing the hostage as Kamen Rider Hime takes to the skies, ratting off a brief speech that ultimately leads to a pun about a snake in the grass.
One Stars Above Kick later and the threat has passed, Tough Love exploding violently and leaving behind only confusion and injuries.
The next few chapters follow much in a similar pattern: Parsee is out running errands or having lunch or any number of Slice of Life activities as strange scenes of activities occur around her: people acting snobbish the day before a group of soldier lions invade an award show, numerous buskers appear selling poorly-made goods or try to rope people into easy money schemes shortly before a Leprechaun Shark with a flamethrower tries to rob a bank, and folks falling asleep wherever they may be as a giant, generic-looking lizard creature goes on a rampage. All the incidents are put to a halt by Kamen Rider Hime, who looks at the burning lizard curiously, wondering why so many weird creatures have begun appearing in Bridge City all of a sudden. Her musing comes to a halt as she remembers she needs to get to a job interview, turning back into Parsee.
...as a red, black, and silver-colored Rider with narrow yellow eyes watches.
Meanwhile, two armored figures wait at the entrance to the queen's throne room as their comrade reports on the failure of his lizard. The taller of the two, a knight in gold and purple armor, asks his comrade, whose armor looks almost butler-like, how he plans to kill the Rider.
The butler knight looks at his comrade and answers that he shall observe Kamen Rider for himself before making plans. He begins to leave as the third knight finishes his report. The butler knight pauses and looks over his shoulder.
"Pride, do you remember your name?" he asks.
"What a foolish question. You said it yourself: I am Pride, first amongst Sins, greatest warrior under Queen Cassandra," Pride answers, puffing his chest out.
"As I thought," the questioner says, leaving.
That night, a massive crab-shaped slime monster attacks Bridge City, rising from the sewers and devouring everything in its path as it slowly makes its way through the city towards the largest building in town: Komeji Tower, home to the ever-"legitimate" Satori Komeji, who likely watches the creature's approach with disdain. The creature, let's call him Crabmelt, smashes a building, sending rubble towards a pair of pedestrians who are barely pulled to safety by Kamen Rider Hime.
Crab and Rider begin to stare each other down, the gooey beast raising a claw to strike when a loud whistle rings out. Kamen Rider Hime looks about in confusion as the crab withdraws into the nearest sewer. Hime prepares to leave when heavy, metallic footsteps approach from where the crab was as the butler knight presents himself.
"You must be Kamen Rider," he says, bowing.
"You have me at a disadvantage," Kamen Rider Hime remarks. "You know my name, yet you are a mystery to me."
"Then permit me an introduction. I am Gluttony, second knight of the Sins."
Gluttony bows again before drawing a sophisticated longsword.
"Not to put a damper on our relationship, but I've come to kill you."
Kamen Rider Hime assumes a defensive posture. "That IS a bit of a buzzkill, sadly."
The scene pans out to show the two of them ready for battle.
~
This volume ends with another edition of Parsee-chan Does Not Cry: http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2102185?pool_id=10027
Monday, February 27, 2017
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Kamen Rider Hime Vol. 3
Volume 3 of Kamen Rider Hime was delayed greatly after the artist was injured in a javalina-farming incident. At least one finger was broken, causing the art to look shaky as the artist recovers. Best of luck.
~
Volume 3 begins as convenience store clerk Parsee greets the antennaed stranger that has entered. He introduces himself as Xavier Cian De Lovouse, a journalist who has recently moved to Bridge City to take over as the food journalist for the local paper. Parsee laughs, cracking a joke about someone actually wanting to live down there. The two spend another page or so bantering before Cian leaves, leaving Parsee alone to her work.
That evening, more fights break out across Bridge City than usual. Arguments erupt over minor occurrences. Police get called to every bar in the city only to begin fighting those they had come to take to the drunk tank.
A customer explodes at Parsee for giving incorrect change, but our cool-headed clerk maintains a professional demeanor, secretly being envious at two people outside who can throw a punch at the moment without risking their jobs.
The ground begins to tremble. Something is walking down the street. Something BIG.
Brawling citizens forget their petty squabbles to flee in terror. Parsee runs outside to see a huge creature, a 20 ft. tall steel-armored creature resembling a cross between a crocodile, a lion fish, and a badger. It wields a club taller than a man and swings it with reckless abandon. Black ichor of some sort seeps from the joints in its armor, splashing it about with each swing.
Parsee briefly wishes there were more Kamen Riders before transforming into Kamen Rider Hime. She summons Envy Driver, her motorcycle, and begins chasing the ogre. The beast appears to be heading towards the outskirts of town, drunkenly clubbing anything that moves or looks like it could move. Kamen Rider Hime revs her engine, driving up the orge's tail so she can deliver her powerful Paru Paru Punch to the base of its neck.
The ogre idly scratches where it was hit, ridding itself of an annoying itch. Kamen Rider Hime narrowly dodges, making a quip about a pain in the neck. She looks about trying to find something she can use to her advantage. She sees one of the bleeding joints and uses a Spell Card, "Midnight Anathema Ritual", to send a flurry of red energy balls into it, eventually causing one of the orge's forearms to flat-out fall off.
Hime prepares to try it again with the other arm when she gets clubbed by the ogre's tail. As she lay on the ground, probably bleeding somewhere, the ogre turns, its attention diverted from its goal and towards its assailant. Kamen Rider Hime rolls quickly out of the way of an incoming club, throwing a couple of energy balls as she gets up and rushes forward. She begins hammering the ogre's midsection relentlessly, trying to break through its armor.
She then rolls between the ogre's legs as it reaches for it, kicking its heel as she rolls to trip it up. The ogre falls on its face, but before Kamen Rider Hime can celebrate, she gets kicked. The ogre looks at her, fury in its eyes as it opens its jaw and sprays steaming hot liquid that melts through the concrete of the street. Hime fires off another Spell Card, "Jealous of the Kind and Lovely", that sends a large green ring blasting off the ogre's other arm. The beast bellows, but is out of bleeding joints to conveniently blast off.
Kamen Rider Hime calls for Envy Driver again, driving down to the next intersection as the ogre jumps and drops onto where she was. She guns the engine as the ogre charges her, both ready to collide at top speed when Hime shouts out a command.
"System Change!"
Envy Driving throws its rider into the air before changing shape, becoming a flame-bladed, rocket-propelled sword for Kamen Rider Hime to use to slice through the ogre even as it belches more burning fluid. Even as her armor sizzles, burning her within it, her blade strikes true, bisecting the ogre at the waist. Its lower half immediately ceases to move, but its top half tries to crawl forward, willing the stumps of its arms to drag it away. Hime watches its last movements with relief, ordering Envy Driver to change again so she can drive home.
The next day, the giant beast is front page news. Police, fire department, and ambulances are all over the damaged street, looking for clues and trying to dispose of the ogre. A certain antennaed journalist grabs a copy of the day's newspaper as he heads for lunch.
In a strange, expansive throne room, a queen sits and watches as five robed knights approach her, bending down on one knee as their leader looks up and speaks.
"My queen, Wrath is dead."
The queen waves dismissively.
"We came here to replace him anyway. He was expendable. But now we know we have an enemy in this city...
...destroy Kamen Rider."
~
This volume ends with another fun comic: http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2166455
~
Volume 3 begins as convenience store clerk Parsee greets the antennaed stranger that has entered. He introduces himself as Xavier Cian De Lovouse, a journalist who has recently moved to Bridge City to take over as the food journalist for the local paper. Parsee laughs, cracking a joke about someone actually wanting to live down there. The two spend another page or so bantering before Cian leaves, leaving Parsee alone to her work.
That evening, more fights break out across Bridge City than usual. Arguments erupt over minor occurrences. Police get called to every bar in the city only to begin fighting those they had come to take to the drunk tank.
A customer explodes at Parsee for giving incorrect change, but our cool-headed clerk maintains a professional demeanor, secretly being envious at two people outside who can throw a punch at the moment without risking their jobs.
The ground begins to tremble. Something is walking down the street. Something BIG.
Brawling citizens forget their petty squabbles to flee in terror. Parsee runs outside to see a huge creature, a 20 ft. tall steel-armored creature resembling a cross between a crocodile, a lion fish, and a badger. It wields a club taller than a man and swings it with reckless abandon. Black ichor of some sort seeps from the joints in its armor, splashing it about with each swing.
Parsee briefly wishes there were more Kamen Riders before transforming into Kamen Rider Hime. She summons Envy Driver, her motorcycle, and begins chasing the ogre. The beast appears to be heading towards the outskirts of town, drunkenly clubbing anything that moves or looks like it could move. Kamen Rider Hime revs her engine, driving up the orge's tail so she can deliver her powerful Paru Paru Punch to the base of its neck.
The ogre idly scratches where it was hit, ridding itself of an annoying itch. Kamen Rider Hime narrowly dodges, making a quip about a pain in the neck. She looks about trying to find something she can use to her advantage. She sees one of the bleeding joints and uses a Spell Card, "Midnight Anathema Ritual", to send a flurry of red energy balls into it, eventually causing one of the orge's forearms to flat-out fall off.
Hime prepares to try it again with the other arm when she gets clubbed by the ogre's tail. As she lay on the ground, probably bleeding somewhere, the ogre turns, its attention diverted from its goal and towards its assailant. Kamen Rider Hime rolls quickly out of the way of an incoming club, throwing a couple of energy balls as she gets up and rushes forward. She begins hammering the ogre's midsection relentlessly, trying to break through its armor.
She then rolls between the ogre's legs as it reaches for it, kicking its heel as she rolls to trip it up. The ogre falls on its face, but before Kamen Rider Hime can celebrate, she gets kicked. The ogre looks at her, fury in its eyes as it opens its jaw and sprays steaming hot liquid that melts through the concrete of the street. Hime fires off another Spell Card, "Jealous of the Kind and Lovely", that sends a large green ring blasting off the ogre's other arm. The beast bellows, but is out of bleeding joints to conveniently blast off.
Kamen Rider Hime calls for Envy Driver again, driving down to the next intersection as the ogre jumps and drops onto where she was. She guns the engine as the ogre charges her, both ready to collide at top speed when Hime shouts out a command.
"System Change!"
Envy Driving throws its rider into the air before changing shape, becoming a flame-bladed, rocket-propelled sword for Kamen Rider Hime to use to slice through the ogre even as it belches more burning fluid. Even as her armor sizzles, burning her within it, her blade strikes true, bisecting the ogre at the waist. Its lower half immediately ceases to move, but its top half tries to crawl forward, willing the stumps of its arms to drag it away. Hime watches its last movements with relief, ordering Envy Driver to change again so she can drive home.
The next day, the giant beast is front page news. Police, fire department, and ambulances are all over the damaged street, looking for clues and trying to dispose of the ogre. A certain antennaed journalist grabs a copy of the day's newspaper as he heads for lunch.
In a strange, expansive throne room, a queen sits and watches as five robed knights approach her, bending down on one knee as their leader looks up and speaks.
"My queen, Wrath is dead."
The queen waves dismissively.
"We came here to replace him anyway. He was expendable. But now we know we have an enemy in this city...
...destroy Kamen Rider."
~
This volume ends with another fun comic: http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2166455
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Bridge Over Troubled What-Ifs
The Deep Road to Hell
To most people, a bridge was just a way to get across a body of water or a large gap in the earth. You walk or drive across it and you're done. Not much to think about unless you want to come up with some kind of clever metaphor for achieving goals or something equally philosophical.
To some people though, a bridge could be home. More than home even.
And so Parsee Mizuhashi stood in the middle of the bridge she'd lived on and around for centuries, motionless except to sometimes look in a different direction or to breathe. Heavy footsteps approached her.
"Why are we back here, Parsee?"
Parsee turned to look at the armored warrior behind her: Kamen Rider Chalice, the form her Shadow had assumed back in 2015 when an evil spirit had given her doubts and fears form.
"Just looking for answers here, I suppose," Parsee said, turning to stare back at the darkness.
"A waste of our time," Chalice sighed. "But do as you will."
"Thank you."
Parsee was once again alone with her thoughts. She could hear fairies in the distance and those weird yin-yang creatures flying about, but none dared to approach the bridge, not while its princess was back. She spent hours mulling over what Reimu said, what had happened in the previous year, and her own experiences on this very bridge. Being given control of a multi-billion dollar, interplanetary corporation after an interdimensional dragon tried to run it into the ground, having to help stop a massive civil war on another world from ripping opening the wall between dimensions, enough Kobber drama to last even her extended lifetime...
It was hard to tell where her doubts over one problem ended and another began. Reimu had, fortunately, provided some perspective, rightfully noting that she'd lost fights before Hot Topic and gotten back up. Months of tanking corporate profits were another thing, trying to pull up from the financial plummet caused by the MALP-verse Draco funding terror in her world. Perhaps she was finally beginning to gain some perspective, finally on the verge of a breakthrough!
Then the chamber went cold. Deathly cold. Parsee looked about, curious but unconcerned.
Unconcerned until someone began whispering.
<Mizuho-chan...>
The bridge princess' ear perked. A name she hadn't heard in years by a voice she hadn't ever expected to hear again.
Not after she cut his throat for cheating on her with another woman the night before their wedding.
She turned in time to see the voice manifest a body, a swirling specter forming a dark-haired man in a kimono centuries out of date carrying a gleaming katana.
<Mizuho-chan, I found you...>
Parsee dropped to her knees, supernatural terror coming over her as her dead fiancé walked towards her, arm extended.
<Mizuho-chan, I need you...>
<Get away from me!> Parsee cried as she backed up on the bridge, her eyes never leaving the ghost before her.
<Mizuho-chan, I'm so cold...I need you...>
<GO AWAY, EIICHI!>
<I need you...to die...>
Parsee screamed as the ghost was suddenly before her.
<You killed me. You killed her. In cold blood. So cold. Can't move on.>
<I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! GO AWAY!> Parsee screamed, curling up into a ball.
<Need your blood...to warm up...then I can go...> He raised his sword.
<I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT! FORGIVE ME, PLEASE!>
The sword came down, its blade digging into Parsee's neck to her spine. Her rolls eyed into the back of her head and she slumped over, fading away.
...
...
...
The specter of Eiichi stood there for a moment, confused. Bodies didn't just disappear. Or did they? It had been so long since he'd had a coherent thought. There was no blood for him.
Only mocking laughter echoing off the walls.
<Did you really think I would just sit there? Did you think I'd just let you cut my head off?!>
Parsee's laughter grew louder, landing where her clone had been a moment before.
<Five hundred years and you still don't know how to use that,> she said, tutting. <You took TWO lessons just so you could tell your associates that, yes, you did take swordfighting lessons.>
The ghost tilted its head, listening with growing comprehension.
<You never even used it except to show off and cut melons in half. No wonder it's still in such good shape,> she continued stepping forward.
The ghost stepped back, his expression growing concerned.
<And expecting me to just curl and die just like that? You never COULD stand to do your share of a job unless dragged kicking and screaming,> Parsee growled, jabbing the ghost in the chest.
She slapped the sword out of Eiichi's hand. <The only thing you did yourself was trying to manipulate me into being a good wife. I did my damndest to become the kind of wife needed to make our marriage work so that our families could prosper together, even actually giving in to your stupid requests! "A proper wife shouldn't interrupt, Mizuho-chan. A proper wife should know how to make tea, Mizuho-chan! A PROPER WIFE SHOULD KNOW HER PLACE, MIZUHO-CHAN!">
Parsee's eyes flared as she forced the ghost into retreat. <I was stuck on this bridge FOR CENTURIES repenting for the one misdeed I did against you and your mistress, whom I note isn't here - I guess til death do you part is the furthest you can commit too - and you couldn't find me ON THE ROAD TO HELL!>
<M-Mizuho-chan, I-!>
<I'M NOT TANAKA MIZUHO ANYMORE!>
Parsee rose into the air, lording over the spirit of her ex-fiancè, rage building.
<Tanaka Mizuho died the same day you did and in her place Parsee Mizuhashi was born! The green-eyed monster of Gensokyo, CEO of Dra Co, owner of the Stars Above nightclub, mistress of Cian's Floating Castle!
And it's not Parsee-chan, before your foul mouth opens again. You may call me Parsee-SAMA, unworthy as you are to look upon me.>
The ghost began to vanish, cowed into escape, but Parsee would not allow this, grabbing the apparition's robe while she could.
<Oh, no, you're not getting off so easily. You see, I'm not longer a human either. I'm a hashihime, the mistress of this very bridge. You are so eager for warmth? Then I hereby BANISH YOU TO HELL!>
She began using a spell card to send the flailing fiancè to visit Satori in Hell, but stopped when a woman's weeping fill the chamber.
<So THAT'S where your mistress is. Come on, dear, you can get in on this eternal damnation!>
The weeping slowly grew into growling as a towering apparition crawled down the hallway, the image of a petite woman fifteen feet tall, a knife jutting from her neck as she wept tears of blood.
Parsee whistled appreciatively. <Damn. A vengeance spirit? How many lies did he whisper in your ear to make you this angry about death?>
She cast Eiichi aside with a grin as her new adversary, much more formidable-looking than the pathetic ghost, reached her bridge. <I forgot to mention one other name I go by now, "honored husband"...>
She pulled out a device from behind her back and placed it on her belt. She placed both hands on it and lit up her eyes.
<They also call me...Kamen Rider Hime.
TRANSFORM!>
A flash of light gave the chamber its first actual illumination in years, dying as quickly as it erupted, leaving a blue-armored figure standing in Parsee's place. Heavy footsteps followed as Kamen Rider Chalice reappeared.
"May I join you in this battle, Kamen Rider Hime?"
"I'd be honored, Kamen Rider Chalice."
The vengeance spirit howled and swung a claw.
To most people, a bridge was just a way to get across a body of water or a large gap in the earth. You walk or drive across it and you're done. Not much to think about unless you want to come up with some kind of clever metaphor for achieving goals or something equally philosophical.
To some people though, a bridge could be home. More than home even.
And so Parsee Mizuhashi stood in the middle of the bridge she'd lived on and around for centuries, motionless except to sometimes look in a different direction or to breathe. Heavy footsteps approached her.
"Why are we back here, Parsee?"
Parsee turned to look at the armored warrior behind her: Kamen Rider Chalice, the form her Shadow had assumed back in 2015 when an evil spirit had given her doubts and fears form.
"Just looking for answers here, I suppose," Parsee said, turning to stare back at the darkness.
"A waste of our time," Chalice sighed. "But do as you will."
"Thank you."
Parsee was once again alone with her thoughts. She could hear fairies in the distance and those weird yin-yang creatures flying about, but none dared to approach the bridge, not while its princess was back. She spent hours mulling over what Reimu said, what had happened in the previous year, and her own experiences on this very bridge. Being given control of a multi-billion dollar, interplanetary corporation after an interdimensional dragon tried to run it into the ground, having to help stop a massive civil war on another world from ripping opening the wall between dimensions, enough Kobber drama to last even her extended lifetime...
It was hard to tell where her doubts over one problem ended and another began. Reimu had, fortunately, provided some perspective, rightfully noting that she'd lost fights before Hot Topic and gotten back up. Months of tanking corporate profits were another thing, trying to pull up from the financial plummet caused by the MALP-verse Draco funding terror in her world. Perhaps she was finally beginning to gain some perspective, finally on the verge of a breakthrough!
Then the chamber went cold. Deathly cold. Parsee looked about, curious but unconcerned.
Unconcerned until someone began whispering.
<Mizuho-chan...>
The bridge princess' ear perked. A name she hadn't heard in years by a voice she hadn't ever expected to hear again.
Not after she cut his throat for cheating on her with another woman the night before their wedding.
She turned in time to see the voice manifest a body, a swirling specter forming a dark-haired man in a kimono centuries out of date carrying a gleaming katana.
<Mizuho-chan, I found you...>
Parsee dropped to her knees, supernatural terror coming over her as her dead fiancé walked towards her, arm extended.
<Mizuho-chan, I need you...>
<Get away from me!> Parsee cried as she backed up on the bridge, her eyes never leaving the ghost before her.
<Mizuho-chan, I'm so cold...I need you...>
<GO AWAY, EIICHI!>
<I need you...to die...>
Parsee screamed as the ghost was suddenly before her.
<You killed me. You killed her. In cold blood. So cold. Can't move on.>
<I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! GO AWAY!> Parsee screamed, curling up into a ball.
<Need your blood...to warm up...then I can go...> He raised his sword.
<I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT! FORGIVE ME, PLEASE!>
The sword came down, its blade digging into Parsee's neck to her spine. Her rolls eyed into the back of her head and she slumped over, fading away.
...
...
...
The specter of Eiichi stood there for a moment, confused. Bodies didn't just disappear. Or did they? It had been so long since he'd had a coherent thought. There was no blood for him.
Only mocking laughter echoing off the walls.
<Did you really think I would just sit there? Did you think I'd just let you cut my head off?!>
Parsee's laughter grew louder, landing where her clone had been a moment before.
<Five hundred years and you still don't know how to use that,> she said, tutting. <You took TWO lessons just so you could tell your associates that, yes, you did take swordfighting lessons.>
The ghost tilted its head, listening with growing comprehension.
<You never even used it except to show off and cut melons in half. No wonder it's still in such good shape,> she continued stepping forward.
The ghost stepped back, his expression growing concerned.
<And expecting me to just curl and die just like that? You never COULD stand to do your share of a job unless dragged kicking and screaming,> Parsee growled, jabbing the ghost in the chest.
She slapped the sword out of Eiichi's hand. <The only thing you did yourself was trying to manipulate me into being a good wife. I did my damndest to become the kind of wife needed to make our marriage work so that our families could prosper together, even actually giving in to your stupid requests! "A proper wife shouldn't interrupt, Mizuho-chan. A proper wife should know how to make tea, Mizuho-chan! A PROPER WIFE SHOULD KNOW HER PLACE, MIZUHO-CHAN!">
Parsee's eyes flared as she forced the ghost into retreat. <I was stuck on this bridge FOR CENTURIES repenting for the one misdeed I did against you and your mistress, whom I note isn't here - I guess til death do you part is the furthest you can commit too - and you couldn't find me ON THE ROAD TO HELL!>
<M-Mizuho-chan, I-!>
<I'M NOT TANAKA MIZUHO ANYMORE!>
Parsee rose into the air, lording over the spirit of her ex-fiancè, rage building.
<Tanaka Mizuho died the same day you did and in her place Parsee Mizuhashi was born! The green-eyed monster of Gensokyo, CEO of Dra Co, owner of the Stars Above nightclub, mistress of Cian's Floating Castle!
And it's not Parsee-chan, before your foul mouth opens again. You may call me Parsee-SAMA, unworthy as you are to look upon me.>
The ghost began to vanish, cowed into escape, but Parsee would not allow this, grabbing the apparition's robe while she could.
<Oh, no, you're not getting off so easily. You see, I'm not longer a human either. I'm a hashihime, the mistress of this very bridge. You are so eager for warmth? Then I hereby BANISH YOU TO HELL!>
She began using a spell card to send the flailing fiancè to visit Satori in Hell, but stopped when a woman's weeping fill the chamber.
<So THAT'S where your mistress is. Come on, dear, you can get in on this eternal damnation!>
The weeping slowly grew into growling as a towering apparition crawled down the hallway, the image of a petite woman fifteen feet tall, a knife jutting from her neck as she wept tears of blood.
Parsee whistled appreciatively. <Damn. A vengeance spirit? How many lies did he whisper in your ear to make you this angry about death?>
She cast Eiichi aside with a grin as her new adversary, much more formidable-looking than the pathetic ghost, reached her bridge. <I forgot to mention one other name I go by now, "honored husband"...>
She pulled out a device from behind her back and placed it on her belt. She placed both hands on it and lit up her eyes.
<They also call me...Kamen Rider Hime.
TRANSFORM!>
A flash of light gave the chamber its first actual illumination in years, dying as quickly as it erupted, leaving a blue-armored figure standing in Parsee's place. Heavy footsteps followed as Kamen Rider Chalice reappeared.
"May I join you in this battle, Kamen Rider Hime?"
"I'd be honored, Kamen Rider Chalice."
The vengeance spirit howled and swung a claw.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Are you there, Hakurei Shrine God? It's me, Parsee.
Hakurei Shrine, Gensokyo
It was a slow walk down the path, each step feeling as if it would be the last before she turned and ran back to the human village for more tea. The shrine maiden's attitude had been legendary before she'd spent a year as the head of the King of Beasts' security and fighting a multitude of villains had only enhanced her reputation. Yet, as terrifying as that made her, it also made her the perfect person to answer Parsee Mizuhashi's quandary.
And so she continued walking, one hand carrying a small, sealed bundle and the other pulling a rolling suitcase. One step after another, only the birds chirping and the sound of the suitcase clunking across the stone path to break the silence.
Although time seemed to stretch on, it was really only a few minutes. Timey wimey stuff or something.
The shrine maiden was busy doing chores, sweeping off the steps of the shrine so someone could, theoretically, pray to the Hakurei shrine god. Someone must have stopped by, a few coins currently in the donation box. Parsee glanced at it briefly before clearing her throat.
"Just a minute, I'll be there in a second..."
The shrine maiden set the broom aside and began walking over. "How can I help...oh, it's you."
Parsee snorted. "Yeah, yeah. It's me. Hello."
"What do you want?" Reimu asked, reaching for her broom to resume work.
"I just had a question for you," Parsee answered. "If you want, think of it as giving a wayward pilgrim some spiritual guidance. Shrine maidens do that, right?"
It was Reimu's turn to snort. "For people who actually want it."
"What makes you think I don't?"
Reimu glared for a moment and then glanced at Parsee's box. "What's in the box? Is that what you need guidance for?"
Parsee shook her head. "No, it's for you and Yuyu when we're done. Just a quick question, I promise."
Reimu pointed to a bench and sat down. Parsee joined her.
"Alright, ask."
Parsee took a deep breath. "Why do you go resolve incidents?"
Reimu blinked. She wasn't expecting that kind of question.
Parsee stood up and began pacing. "There's no doubt that you're good at it. Best fighter in Gensokyo with your blond buddy probably a close second, but you really don't see the do-gooder type."
"And you don't seem like the type to ask," Reimu countered with a half-lidded stare. "I do it because it's my duty as a shrine maiden. I also do it because I can't have ANY peace and quiet if I wait for someone else to slap the shit out of some smug bastard trying to turn the moon to cheese or actually put alligators in the sewers."
Reimu gets up and grabs her broom. "You didn't come here just to satisfy your own curiosity though, did you? I'd hate to waste my time spiritually guiding someone on an idle whim."
Parsee shook her head. "No, I didn't ask just because I was curious. I...am having some doubts about myself."
"You're not going to make a dragon appear, right?"
"No, no, that was a totally different set of doubts that has definitely been resolved," Parsee answered, waving her hand dismissively. "Ever since...well...I got beat up by that fake Hell Goddess..."
"It wasn't a bad fight," Reimu said, interrupting.
"Eh...not the point. Ever since I lost, I've been wondering if I really need to be doing that kind of hero stuff." Parsee continued. "I mean, there's lots of Kobbers who are good at that stuff and I'm not even leaving Las Vegas."
Reimu sighed. "You didn't stop being a pissed off bridge troll just because I beat you, right?"
"Er...no."
"Well, you're underestimating Hot Topic. She's a member of that Planeswarden group. She's a special agent or something; a professional at dealing with shit almost as nasty as what I put up with. You got beat up by someone really tough and now you're moping because you had a new power-up that you used, what, once before?"
Reimu shook her head and went back to sweeping. "Get over yourself, bridge princess. If you don't want to fight, fine, but don't make excuses for it. If you do want to fight, find your own reason for it and get good. I fight for my reasons and you can't have them."
Parsee laughed a bit and walked over to the donation box, throwing some cash into it. She began to walk off, but turned to stand at Reimu's side. "Almost forgot: your gift."
Reimu looked at the package and began unwrapping it. "Oh, right, what is....this?"
Reimu stared at a small plate with two sandwiches on it, burgers loaded with tasty extras and dripping with grease and hot. Once, they were hot and fresh. Now, just warm and fresh-ish.
"What are these?"
Parsee smirked and blushed a bit. "I hunted down the chef from the King of Beasts and asked her to give me the recipe for her signature dish. It's not QUITE a Brgrgr, but it's probably better than what you usually get out here."
Reimu began to reply when one of the knockoffs disappeared, happy squealing filling the air.
"Well, at least she likes it," Reimu noted. "Thank you for your donation. Anything else?"
"Nope."
"Then get lost. You're getting dirt on my clean shrine."
It was a slow walk down the path, each step feeling as if it would be the last before she turned and ran back to the human village for more tea. The shrine maiden's attitude had been legendary before she'd spent a year as the head of the King of Beasts' security and fighting a multitude of villains had only enhanced her reputation. Yet, as terrifying as that made her, it also made her the perfect person to answer Parsee Mizuhashi's quandary.
And so she continued walking, one hand carrying a small, sealed bundle and the other pulling a rolling suitcase. One step after another, only the birds chirping and the sound of the suitcase clunking across the stone path to break the silence.
Although time seemed to stretch on, it was really only a few minutes. Timey wimey stuff or something.
The shrine maiden was busy doing chores, sweeping off the steps of the shrine so someone could, theoretically, pray to the Hakurei shrine god. Someone must have stopped by, a few coins currently in the donation box. Parsee glanced at it briefly before clearing her throat.
"Just a minute, I'll be there in a second..."
The shrine maiden set the broom aside and began walking over. "How can I help...oh, it's you."
Parsee snorted. "Yeah, yeah. It's me. Hello."
"What do you want?" Reimu asked, reaching for her broom to resume work.
"I just had a question for you," Parsee answered. "If you want, think of it as giving a wayward pilgrim some spiritual guidance. Shrine maidens do that, right?"
It was Reimu's turn to snort. "For people who actually want it."
"What makes you think I don't?"
Reimu glared for a moment and then glanced at Parsee's box. "What's in the box? Is that what you need guidance for?"
Parsee shook her head. "No, it's for you and Yuyu when we're done. Just a quick question, I promise."
Reimu pointed to a bench and sat down. Parsee joined her.
"Alright, ask."
Parsee took a deep breath. "Why do you go resolve incidents?"
Reimu blinked. She wasn't expecting that kind of question.
Parsee stood up and began pacing. "There's no doubt that you're good at it. Best fighter in Gensokyo with your blond buddy probably a close second, but you really don't see the do-gooder type."
"And you don't seem like the type to ask," Reimu countered with a half-lidded stare. "I do it because it's my duty as a shrine maiden. I also do it because I can't have ANY peace and quiet if I wait for someone else to slap the shit out of some smug bastard trying to turn the moon to cheese or actually put alligators in the sewers."
Reimu gets up and grabs her broom. "You didn't come here just to satisfy your own curiosity though, did you? I'd hate to waste my time spiritually guiding someone on an idle whim."
Parsee shook her head. "No, I didn't ask just because I was curious. I...am having some doubts about myself."
"You're not going to make a dragon appear, right?"
"No, no, that was a totally different set of doubts that has definitely been resolved," Parsee answered, waving her hand dismissively. "Ever since...well...I got beat up by that fake Hell Goddess..."
"It wasn't a bad fight," Reimu said, interrupting.
"Eh...not the point. Ever since I lost, I've been wondering if I really need to be doing that kind of hero stuff." Parsee continued. "I mean, there's lots of Kobbers who are good at that stuff and I'm not even leaving Las Vegas."
Reimu sighed. "You didn't stop being a pissed off bridge troll just because I beat you, right?"
"Er...no."
"Well, you're underestimating Hot Topic. She's a member of that Planeswarden group. She's a special agent or something; a professional at dealing with shit almost as nasty as what I put up with. You got beat up by someone really tough and now you're moping because you had a new power-up that you used, what, once before?"
Reimu shook her head and went back to sweeping. "Get over yourself, bridge princess. If you don't want to fight, fine, but don't make excuses for it. If you do want to fight, find your own reason for it and get good. I fight for my reasons and you can't have them."
Parsee laughed a bit and walked over to the donation box, throwing some cash into it. She began to walk off, but turned to stand at Reimu's side. "Almost forgot: your gift."
Reimu looked at the package and began unwrapping it. "Oh, right, what is....this?"
Reimu stared at a small plate with two sandwiches on it, burgers loaded with tasty extras and dripping with grease and hot. Once, they were hot and fresh. Now, just warm and fresh-ish.
"What are these?"
Parsee smirked and blushed a bit. "I hunted down the chef from the King of Beasts and asked her to give me the recipe for her signature dish. It's not QUITE a Brgrgr, but it's probably better than what you usually get out here."
Reimu began to reply when one of the knockoffs disappeared, happy squealing filling the air.
"Well, at least she likes it," Reimu noted. "Thank you for your donation. Anything else?"
"Nope."
"Then get lost. You're getting dirt on my clean shrine."
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
January 2017 RP Ticker Quote Archive
"You dare mock the Great Lord Kuriza, worm? After all the scrapbooking we've done together?"
Ghetto Rider cosplay. Heh.
they were fighting the dreaded “ mcvuhfm j ,lik/.;” and “./l;’ agfkli”, too. With a “,ployhuah”, no less.
"I call them S'muffins."
An entire cow carcass.
"..... ..... ..... ..... ....?"
'archivist' or 'transcriber' sounds ever so much more noble than 'editor' or 'that guy that drags dregs'.
"I would save questions of least and favorites for less important things like...seasons and children."
Or the fire. Can’t forget about the fire!
Would cruise companies accept pennies?
Brandon wished there was enough in the budget to eat a 20 lb burger and die of a heart attack.
Maerlyn would have sworn that the Courier was cracking a joke.
“Of course you have a whip.”
"I help most everyone by remaining twenty or so feet away from them and thus not burdening them with preemptive failure."
He was rather surprised to see the bloody tines of a dinner fork protruding partly out of his neck,
Ghetto Rider cosplay. Heh.
they were fighting the dreaded “ mcvuhfm j ,lik/.;” and “./l;’ agfkli”, too. With a “,ployhuah”, no less.
"I call them S'muffins."
An entire cow carcass.
"..... ..... ..... ..... ....?"
'archivist' or 'transcriber' sounds ever so much more noble than 'editor' or 'that guy that drags dregs'.
"I would save questions of least and favorites for less important things like...seasons and children."
Or the fire. Can’t forget about the fire!
Would cruise companies accept pennies?
Brandon wished there was enough in the budget to eat a 20 lb burger and die of a heart attack.
Maerlyn would have sworn that the Courier was cracking a joke.
“Of course you have a whip.”
"I help most everyone by remaining twenty or so feet away from them and thus not burdening them with preemptive failure."
He was rather surprised to see the bloody tines of a dinner fork protruding partly out of his neck,
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