Wednesday, October 2, 2024

September 2024 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: "WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?!?!"


2nd: Everyone turned to her in shock, startling her. "Hey! I don't mean that for real!"


3rd: "What chaos can I chaos up today?"


4th: Shiina's proclamation may almost sound cool, but the effect falls flat a little as she hands Olivia a browned and ragged old scarf


5th: Dias is not the only one making a surprise comeback!


6th: "Oh." Well. That's unfortunate.


7th: Diplomacy had never been an option when pizza was involved.


8th: "My best friends dad was in a vampire sex cult."


9th: ♩ When there's something strange, on a hot rampage ♩ Who you gonna call? ♩ SHI-RA-BE ♩!


10th: Karma the Alligator must really be eyeing his thighs up today.


11th: "SHHHHH."


12th: Oh god, Dia can and will fight god for Hel. She is not the aid we thought she would be. Asgard is doomed.


13th: "Sometimes the codenames they assign us are absurd. This is not one of those times."


14th: "I think I'll go meet boys and maybe get some tattoes"


15th: she made crowns out of flowers and ate a lot of eggs.


16th: "that's had 107 chances to kill the Moon and whiffed every damn one of them."


17th: Boss wants to be weird? Not their problem.


18th: "Illuso get your stand out." "Why me?" "Because I took the call the last few times"


19th: "Nobu!" "You read my mind."


20th: "I think The Great Fly just took you on a ruse cruise, doll."


21st: "...MEN LIKE YOU, TAKE ALL YOUR MISTAKES, PUT THEM TOGETHER IN A PILE, AND CALL IT...destiny, darn it, he's run off."


22nd: "deal with Cucumber before he decides to dry himself the old fashioned way-THAT WAS NOT AN INVITATION!”


23rd: DALI book club!


24th: she poked her and realized Isabelle was dead.


25th: right now, she was content being a hot goth skeleton


26th: "I do get peeved sometimes," she admits reluctantly, "but I'm no umbrella"


27th: She asked herself in a single sad kazoo like note.


28th: The elf healed him anyway


29th: Maybe she doesn't have the speed and endurance to simply cover the whole battlefield in eastern skunk cabbage.


30th: Oops. He got sidetracked. Crim laughs

Monday, September 2, 2024

August 2024 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: "WEREWOLVES ARE COOLER THAN VAMPIRES, YA GONKS"


2nd: The Hole (tm)


3rd: "COMING THROUGH" "BEEP BEEP! HONK HONK!"


4th: "That dork?" Jon looks behind him as if there would somehow be someone even dorkier than himself there. "Oh! I'm that dork!"


5th: worried sick over Vrock being more dead than normal.


6th: "Ow, heck. I forgot pain hurts."


7th: "Who would win: a bunch of very angry Kobbers, or, one old bag with a gun?"


8th: Hell Inc. has rustled the Kobbers' jimmies once again and they surely won't stand for it!


9th: Garlic Man calls out as if he was some police officer


10th: #Number15GravediggerFootLettuce #owned #ImHungryForEqualRights


11th: okay, fine, Martha is here. Nobody invited her.


12th: "Wouldn't you rather have something like Virility instead?"


13th: choosing to be a part of Kobber life instead of just being dragged like a barnacle on a ship


14th: The iconic (kinda sorta) Whalestrand establishment


15th: He hadn't been able to contact her, but he'd literally yelled at the water


16th: "Did you just kill the pope?!"


17th: "Shower the pope! Shower the pope! Shower the pope! Shower the pope!"


18th: "but what is a god..." Leviathan straightened up, running a hand through her hair. "...without a devil to oppose them?"


19th: "I hope she doesn't think I'm a coward. I am, but I don't want her to think I am..."


20th: Dawn's setup was rather idiot proof, because she had to deal with a lot of idiots.


21st: "What fun is everything going according to plan?"


22nd: "THIS IS A CHASE SCENE!"


23rd: "I bet he's worried sick about... how FINE I am since I was shot! I'm TOO fine, he says!"


24th: "hmmmst". Coinkydink? Possibly.


25th: She burst out, dead on her feet but beyond happy with herself.


26th: "...I'm not dumb, I can see that you're a skeleton..."


27th: Somewhere, Dawn Cosineau felt deeply annoyed, and didn't know why.


28th: "It ruins my mysterious allure to give away my tragic backstory so easily"


29th: "I mean, I'm gonna kick your ass, 'cause you kinda need it. But I'm gonna be forthright about it!"


30th: "...Besides, you're so terrible at hiding you're a vampire. Like, really absolutely awful, dude. You turn into flying bread in front of everybody. C'mon."


31st: swim away, Useless Goddess, swim away!

Thursday, August 1, 2024

July 2024 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: "Good afternoon. Can you please get me down from this goddamn tree!?"


2nd: Well... at least she didn't look to have a vitamin D insufficiency.


3rd: What SHOULD this restaurant cluster be called?


4th: Kobber merch you could WEAR? Clearly, this will get Chloe all the customers she could ever want!


5th: "I am my own monster! What a boon this was"


6th: "Could you cut it out? I was enjoying having rights"


7th: "And, it goes without saying I suspect, you are NOT going to use cocaine. Ever."


8th: "order the Angry Miyoi"


9th: "You want to play the BEST pickleball, don't you?”


10th: Sinful had to accept he could not assassinate this landfill


11th: thanks, Zed! He’s sold! Where can he sign up?


12th: "Don't thank me yet. I didn't say a good word!"


13th: She spent the euro on a Cherry Croak.


14th: "Wowww! What are all those HEAAADS?"


15th: The hype was real.


16th: Vegans, don't look!


17th: "No dinero! Where's my burrito?"


18th: "Worse? But who the hell dumps their entire collection of the Beatles on somebody?!"


19th: "THIS ISN'T A DRIVE-THROUGH" "FUCK YOU"


20th: "I didn't know you knew I liked (or possibly pretended to like) chiffarobes!"


21st: Pale Death launched an actual, honest to god Friendship Beam at Attami's chest


22nd: weaker than MAGIC. pathetic


23rd: "Downside is, you start roaring like a t. rex and craving BBQ."


24th: "breasted boobily off into the abyss"


25th: "...Umu." It was a joyless Umu


26th: No hot guys 0/10


27th: ". . . Goodness, Better Bob!  Keep mentioning her  :buttz:and we'll lose our sponsorship!"


28th: "Snikasnikasnika, you're going DOWN Edgar!"


29th: "She can stab them. Or slash them. Decapitate them." "Kourtney, that's violent."


30th: "We aren't going to say we're fine, because being able to say we aren't is a novelty!"


31st: "Just, please no rampaging monsters this time."

Monday, July 1, 2024

June 2024 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: Well there's the danger!


2nd: "I know my teammates have just gotta be awesome, because I'M awesome. Alright?"


3rd: "Are all hot springs like this? I'd like mine with less wolves"


4th: "Ah. I see." Duriel nodded and lied.


5th: "What a sad creature you are, you ambulatory starfish."


6th: Piyori uses 'weeb' as a term of endearment, you must understand.


7th: Nikki- Goth Therapist


8th: Roman is here


9th: There is a burp as Kaydence realizes she's drunken too much


10th: The owl had made a critical error. It had assumed


11th: But time is of the essence? She'll kick in some doors.


12th: Actual Real The Devil from The Bible


13th: What should one do when confronted by falling meteors in an enclosed space? That's a question to which Isadora has no answer


14th: The Brawl Champion's Mentor. No, the other champ. The Other OTHER champ.


15th: "...why does everything you say sound like a move trailer one-liner?"


16th: "I wasn't aware you had become an expert at identifying Shirabes."


17th: "1 Terrae if he wins." (That's not a typo)


18th: her emotional support landfill


19th: "So, let's go-go-gashadokuro!"


20th: "It was great, even if it does feel weird to tower over a bunch of kids at a party."


21st: "Pukin's a good job mate. It's honest work."


22nd: Lieutenant Farstrike (Shas'vre Vior'la Sha'Vah, if you forced him to be formal)


23rd: "It's to feed uncultured heathens like you!"


24th: Crim's breaking rules and making sure to keep everything away


25th: Given the task of describing Maomao Zheng, one could employ many words. Freckled, for instance.


26th: Blanche is missing her head


27th: "When the whale's away, the Kobbers will play. Or at least order Smurf and Turf."


28th: ♓︎


29th: The FLYING DOOR KNOB TECHNIQUE, greatest of martial arts


30th: "Honestly! I expected better from a Ravensky!" "What, being less dangerous?" "No, being MORE dangerous!"

Sunday, June 2, 2024

May 2024 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: She didn't want newcomers to feel alienated, so it didn't say Welcome Back.


2nd: They can talk if they want to, but they don't have to. Such is the way of the big lady.


3rd: "Now there will be violence." Julia Ravensky


4th: Sheep's favorite Attami attack -NECK BEAM!


5th: "So, uh… I got nothin’ else except ‘it’s fine’. Might give a better answer later, I dunno.”


6th: "We were doing the "saw a person in half" trick on stage one night when things went wrong..." "The theater got hit by a tornado."


7th: Iliesh looked confused because she was.


8th: it was one of them fancy, self-playing pianos. Obviously.


9th: "...And anyway, that's why we can confidently disprove the existence of original sin. Any questions?" "Uhhhhhhh... a lot."


10th: French in France


11th: "Do you feel represented in society?" "There is very little umbrella opinion factored into lawmaking!"


12th: Peko grimaces as she sees that nobody else has put down a cow. Now it'd be weird.


13th: The north was inhospitable and uninteresting.


14th: "I demand a list of animal crimes!!!"


15th: "Fine. Give me the fucking drugs."


16th: "Ray-dee-OH-laaaaa~"


17th: "Next time, just turn into a loaf of onion bread!"


18th: Lostelle TKO'd - by RESPONSIBILITY


19th: "I hope it doesn't taste like an old man!"


20th: The orb refused.


21st: "Reya, I think we're going to have to kill this bear!" Isabelle called behind her. "...Darn!"


22nd: and it wasn't even a real face


23rd: "zat horrid purple influence that has zem in its' grasp." "That's a terrible thing to call Gamecube."


24th: incredibly light beer


25th: "Paid in bones, paid in money... spend money ON bones!"


26th: "CRRRRIIIIINGE!" She accused


27th: "Fuck." It was a good epithet.


28th: No amount of swears could solve this particular problem Kisha caused.


29th: "I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOUR BIG STUPID CHIN!"


30th: Puck is alive


31st: "What violence?" She asked, tensing. "Violence violence." "Fine, but what sort?"

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Off-season 2023-2024 Ticker Quote Archive

 November


1st: Boring but considerate.


2nd: "Six months ago, did any of you imagine things would turn out this way? I certainly didn't."


5th: "Your favorite thief came prepared! I didn't just walk into my death!"


6th: "Or we can enlist you into the Planeswardens for 24/7 fun," Juan said with a mischevious grin. "Paperwork included~!"


7th: Raihan hates the cold.


8th: A large kitchen, originally for practicing to humiliate the Kobbers


9th: Pizza V- No, it was something else now


10th: "Ho ho HO! MERRRRRY Whalestrand! HOOOO hoho! Merry WHALEstand!"


11th: And that was when things would go horribly wrong for the both of them.


12th: COMING 2024: WE FINALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT KOGASA


13th: "If she heads for the arch, we'll just let nature take over. But I think we need to play wingman a little more."


14th: Yes, it had taken a bit of time, but, Mutsumi had found Cornifer


15th: One World. And One Ocean.


16th: He stuck out his tongue at her and she pulled down her eyelid at him, the both of them giggling


18th: Adeleine looked behind her and it finally registered how alone she was. 


19th: “Why can’t we just go to the place in the normal world?” Ghiacco complained. “Because"


21st: “Are you taking a bath inside a coffee mug.”


22nd: IONO used BITE!


23rd: When Dannick touched her elbow she blinked like a surprised cow


24th: Except Loremaster. Heavens forbid Loremaster finds out about this.


25th: "Whalestrand has buses?"


26th: ...and what about the cat?


27th: Life. It was strange. Why not keep it that way?


28th: "Winter without winter! Coming to the world soon, just beyond the mountains!"


29th: "Rolls ain't gettin' warmer, but come tomorrow. That coin and seed will be awaiting you!"


30th: "Hello. I would like to order... a story. And also food."


December


25th: "Hashtag Love Not Getting Knocked Out By Jerks."


31st: The Scarecrow sought wisdom, and in the form of attacking people for it


January


3rd: “Not Crim’s son, just Crim”


11th: She had a bad feeling about what had just happened even if she didn't know the specifics...


26th: "Oh- A fun fact. There is no actual difference between Monkeys and Apes"


28th: Hel said, spreading her arms in a T pose.


February


1st: Despite having moved out and now owning a lair, Violence had never really left


3rd: "...Hmmmmm. A social media feud. A classic. "


12th: Important with a capital I.


17th: "I always have this axe with me."


24th: The drunken monster gurgled, finally understanding, and tried


March


2nd: "Getting away from here feels normal, does it?"


13th: "Good morning, my large sister."


16th: as usual she wasn't wearing pants.


17th: "Shit's pretty"


18th: That's really everything, but, your honour, she is balling.


26th: "Hey! Listen! I got a lot of cash and my face is on the internet! Follow that boat!"


April


4th: Some called her The Bitch


10th: "We're lucky this tale's got anything close to a market-friendly happy ending."


18th: “What the fuck happened to you?” Formaggio asked, interrupting a tense game of Uno.


26th: "But I got lots to whine about!" PSP said grumpily


28th: “Kaydence, protest this slander.”


29th: especially considering The Daughter (see: The Daughter)

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Meanwhile, at the Library of Alexandria...

 "Come in. I'm already wearing my suit."


Garvan paused with surprise, her hand still inches away from the door as she prepared to knock on the thick, insulated doors. They easily swung open to permit her, the room within uncharacteristically hot and bright as the sound of metal on metal echoed through the room, the completely-obscured form of Macka serv Alexandria busy pounding away on a piece of hot metal, slowly bending it around a strip of a different metal with a blowtorch sitting nearby, idling its fuel away in case it was needed. The taller of the Library's golems hunched over to enter, folding in her wings before she could accidentally knock over a rack of wigs.


"Good morning, Macka," Garvan said, crouching a respectful distance from where her sister was working, more out of not wanting to get in the way than safety concerns.


"Good morning? Hmm. I lost track of time," Macka replied, pounding away at her work for another minute before deciding she could stop for a moment, dipping the golden band in water. "Good morning, my large sister. I can see you've been hard at work."


"Of course. The Kobbers left, not the magical academy students," the Furnace Girl said. "And they do bring their fair share of debris with them."


"Of course." Macka nodded, turning up the heat on her workstation again and setting a bowl on its slightly-glowing surface. She dropped several shiny silver nuggets in the bowl and stepped aside to let the metal boil and melt.


"What are you working on?" Garvan asked, leaning over cautiously. "Silver and gold?"


"Gifts for Queen Violence. I know and you know that she prefers not to be addressed by title and Lady Delilah knows that as well, but she does insist on protocol you know," Macka spoke, pulling up a chair for herself before sitting down to get a small box.


"A gift? How thoughtful."


Macka nodded and carefully laid out a set of engraving tools, plucking the golden band from its watery resting place. With vision every bit as microscopic as Garvan's own, the smaller golem began to make an intricate pattern in the golden ring, swirls like the rolling of the waves and whimsical webs in the gleaming surface.


"Yes. Tokens of respect for the new Queen of the Hags. Yes, we still keep her room tidy and just the way she prefers it, but Lady Delilah is still quite taken with that book of hag history. A first-hand source of an obscure topic? Were she organic, I have no doubt our mistress would have fainted upon reading it."


Garvan watched carefully as the shapes and patterns took on more cohesive forms. Nearby, the silver began to sputter. Macka seemed not to notice her boiling metal and continued engraving.


"So she tasked me with making something nice for Violence in return. Certainly I could have made her a crown, put some pretty jewels in it, and called it a day, but that's merely art." Macka chuckled gently. "So knowing how spontaneous danger could be in this city last year, I thought I'd forge for her a pair of matching bands: one conjuring a shield of solid magic and the other creating a blade of pure force."


"You've been watching those science fiction films again, haven't you?"


Macka smiled. "Guilty. If the jester is going to gift us with gold from outer space, I can't just make a mundane piece of jewelry, can I?"


"I suppose not," Garvan answered, a momentary nervous twinge popping into her voice.


Not a long twinge, but enough to get her sister's notice. Macka finally looked up from her goldsmithing project and looked up at Garvan, who towered above even while seated on the floor. Were she not wearing a mask, Garvan was certain she would see a knowing smile on the smaller golem's face.


"Well, I've talked plenty since you arrived, so I feel it's been a respectful amount of small talk. How can Macka the Handy be of service, my dear Furnace Girl?" Macka asked, leaning forward, leaning on her elbows.


"Well...I was wondering..." Garvan gulped. "If you could make me something."


"I probably can," Macka answered with a nod. "You would need to tell me what you want made though."


"A piano."


Macka paused, leaning just a bit further forward. "A piano?"


"A piano."


"Why, Garvan, do you want a piano?"


Garvan fidgeted. "I have been reading more about musicians and idols in order to figure out how to...how did Miss Iliesh put it...grow my brand. I have learned that many singers also play instruments, so...I would like to learn to play an instrument."


"Ah." Macka nodded, tilting her head back and forth. "I begin to see the issue."


"Yes," Garvan agreed. "And we tried using magic to make an existing piano big enough for me. Miss Torn was...not impressed."


Macka looked up at her sister for a long moment, considering the request for a bit before going back to her goldsmithing, gently pouring silver into the marks on the gold band, letting the hot metal slowly flow. Garvan watched, trying not to look anxious and failing rather miserably. Macka turned her head back up for a moment.


"Oh, sorry, mind slipped for a second," she apologized to her big sister. "I've never made a piano before, but I'll see what I can do. The Fallen Angel's devices have exposed me to this 'YouTube' marvel and I believe I can find a tutorial there."


Restraining herself just enough to not appear overly excited, Garvan reached over and carefully wrapped her arms around her little sister and gently squeezed.


"Thank you, Macka. I shall find a way to repay you, I promise," the towering maid gushed as carefully as she could, the craftman patting her on the back.


"Take me to your bar again," Macka replied. "I had leftover gold to make a protection ring and I want to see if I can make the whale hostess blush with it."


Garvan made an undoubtedly-dignified noise of amusement before rising to her full...full-ish height to depart the chamber, leaving her sister alone as the doors gently rattled shut. Macka looked at the doors for a moment before sighing and shaking her head, getting back to work on the gift for Violence. A piano...she'd never made an instrument like that before. It sounded time-consuming, difficult, and irritating.


It would be an exciting challenge indeed.