October 2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: fold the scythe into a gun that sprayed flames and egg-shaped flares with a demonic "BAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK".

2nd: Mochi thumps her foot against the ground like a particularly excited rabbit.

3rd: Petra, we think, looks over at Katharina, maybe.

4th: The cheapest option hadn't even been an unearthed potato and raw meat. He'd stopped asking after that.

5th: Expect frantic Google searches a few hours later on if people tend to flirt by calling each other "impressive".

6th: Nobody in the coffee shop turned around at the noise, which did not help matters.

7th: Omggggg doogieeeee mwah mwah mwah mljgwah <3 <3 <3 <3 give him scritchesss 5 meeee, i'll save a bottle of victory wine for u

8th: Having a little too much fun with carpeting

9th: "we're always going to be-" "-the LELEMENTALS!"

10th: "Okay. You! Ghost lady with the weird eyes-" "That's Perona!"

11th: Fucking Tenessee is fucked in all dimensions, huh?

12th: The immortal vampire, stronger and faster than humans.

13th: MOCHI IS ARMED

14th: "JUDON'T STAND A CHANCE!"

15th: Chris Yukine is wearing her mummy costume! Well, she's got a lot of bandages on her body

16th: "What's with birds and being evil?"

17th: It was bees all along.

18th: "...IS he a bird?" "He's half of one, at least." "He's not an organic creature at all any more. He's a mech." "He's shaped like a dinosaur, so I'm calling him a dinosaur." "Well, actually, birds are dinosaurs, so-" "OH MY GOD SHUT UP"

19th: "Shuma-Gorath who’s barely a fraction of his power, who drinks in bars with the mortals and talks like a 60’s cartoon villain?!”

20th: "...I do not get it." She muttered, putting the hat back on

21st: "Do you have earwax? Do you cry tears? Do you sweat?"

22nd: Barbara was important to DALI, so there was no lie

23rd: "D'awwww..." Daw says

24th: ...Godzilla with a Shotgun?!

25th: ”Is this the Planeswarden Convention?” “BUK-KOK!!!”

26th: (the damn rifts, they never ended!)

27th: the advantage of those being that they don't get depowered when you kill a clown.

28th: "What do you mean, time out? There are no time outs when it comes to fights to the death!"

29th: "He is absolutely going to prison for, like, way too many crimes, though."

30th: "Saving the Pope" is a hard bar to match

31st: "Correction. Tonight, I am a COWBOY. And I'm going Yeehaw Mode."

September 2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: So Mud got naked.

2nd: Scholarly consensus suggests that boats are larger than bullets [citation needed].

3rd: "Wait a minute, that's right. I need to be mad at you."

4th: "So this is what it was like hanging around me."

5th: "Huh. It sounds Irish Gaelic, but isn't."

6th: "I do not think you thought your cunning plan all the way through."

7th: a decidedly unsexy investigation with an unclear direction

8th: "Aha! I'll feign my death!"

9th: "No. Melone drank the fucking water"

10th: "Now I can really commune with the Sacabambaspis."

11th: Another page devotes itself to Knockers

12th: "You have the hotel. I might as well be a wheelbarrow."

13th: "When I made the Garlic Substitute with Pete, I didn't mean for you to substitute it for COMMON SENSE."

14th: "the kobbers, who are an amorphous bunch of stick figures with question marks over their heads."

15th: "Go on! Go get it all solved!" "...Fine. FINE"

16th: we need people to make sure nothing goes wrong besides what we want to go wrong on our test

17th:  for a change, she looks a touch professional.

18th: "Could I have been blinded by her light, the same way I thought others were?" "YES!"

19th: "I mean, when a giant pyramid the Kobbers are actively fighting is the one that shares your viewpoint...It might be time to rethink your trajectory."

20th: It's lahke Chrissmas mornin'.

21st: Guns dig chicken livers.

22nd: She just knows he gives good high fives.

23rd: "I hope they don't remember we're all a team and dismiss our viewpoints 'cause of it."

24th: it almost tasted like a liquid birthday cake

25th: "General of knowledge, huh? Well, it's too bad for you, but I'm not very smart!"

26th: two stone Dougs

27th: The ensuing scene of carnage is not legally fit for broadcast in 210 countries.

28th: the Space Pirates had an annoying knack (no, not that one) for being able to make chicken salad out of Weav chicken shit

29th: "Things are already too far, Kyps! So now we have to double down because there's no where left to go!"

30th: "Well fuck me for being an optimist for a change!"

August 2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: (how did he learn to write Wingdings?)

2nd: Criminal Protection Program.

3rd: 'She said her language equivalent of, well, "shhrrrgggg, shrggggggg."'

4th: "You just don't want to admit I might have a point."

5th: The door is kicked ope- *THUD* "...Ow."

6th: "I'm a blatant Horus fangirl, clamoring for Anhka's attention like a child showing a macaroni picture to their mom!"

7th: TAKE RUDE DAMAGE, IDIOT!

8th: "Claude! Claudandus! Holy shit, that man's not in the least bit creative!"

9th: Hey, bananas didn't buy themselves.

10th: "A lady needs her privacy and my criminal record is PRIVATE!"

11th: And while Mallory, of the Bronze Rainbow, bent to this important task, several women stuck their arm down a hole.

12th: Any heavy lifting? Happy to do it!

13th: "This looks like a challenge of my ability to carry garbage!"

14th: Antonio Guster remained immensely annoying.

15th: "I'm only forty-nine anyway."

16th: "Nah, fuck that. Attack Pack was peak Hot Wheels."

17th: "OH, DR. PEPPER! IS THIS LOVE I'M FEEEEEELINNNNNNG?"

18th: serious buffalo energy

19th: "Oh- Look! The fat goats have come to us!"

20th: a victory for """diplomacy"""(?)!

21st: 'Scoli would have had to fill up multiple garbage bags to get rid of them all'. Where did he put it all?

22nd: "They call him 'High Father'. I call him a prick."

23rd: "She's as clearly as not human as I am."

24th: Meanwhile, the smart lads are having a pizza party

25th: PSP, currently, covered in cats, frowns more deeply

26th: Barb looked and saw her hand was absolutely covered in filth. "Oh. Yeah."

27th: And then the soot animal nation attacked.

28th: "Don't derail our mission with your heterosexual nonsense"

29th: a pile of soot and shrapnel, the victim of a sudden debilitating case of 'shot to death'.

30th: Day with Doug™

31st: The Hottest Woman Alive According To A Singular Chimera Heart

July 2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: Oh, by the way, it's Canada Day.

2nd: "...Is the plural of Moose Mooses or Meese, do you think?"

3rd: A trough, who else could boast of such a luxury!

4th: "Neokama forever!"

5th: And through it all...thank Arceus that Truffles was there.

6th: "YAR, MATEYS- Wait, no, that's not- uh, AVAST! Mateys!"

7th: "right now it's starting to feel like my lesbian wife and I took our kids to the carnival."

8th: He had only begun to chew before he made a face. "It's oily."

9th: "I don't think this book will give us the secret to reproducing Attami's thighs"

10th: last last last minute

11th: Maybe Bluster was sick and tired of being Just Enough.

12th: Small Stump Scrap

13th: She was realizing she didn't really know how to make small talk WITH the weather.

14th: Reduin considered this a moment and then supplied: "The hell?"

15th: "Not yet, Doug." Loremaster grabs Doug by the tail and gently pulls him back. He immediately starts waddling forward again.

16th: "Maybe I should have just been given a bunch of umbrellas!"

17th: Dear god. Malin is thinking like an investigator.

18th: more space police. "We're going to space!!"

19th: Wart Cures Monthly had really gone downhill lately.

20th: All things considered, prison wasn't that bad.

21st: "Professional space adventurer! Which is really a fancy way of saying courier, but I like to sound cool."

22nd: "Wait- are you calling me a hot dog?" "No, you're a lovely pork chop."

23rd: How many times would corporate demand to stop a force fueled by riches and beer?

24th: "LOOK! I'M FANCY!"

25th:... yes. Yellow and cyan.

26th: "Besides, gambling is easy. You just don't lose, and you win instead."

27th: Sometimes all you need is Two Mechs.

28th: She needed a hand, and hence dropped her sword, because it wouldn't explode at her feet.

29th: "I suppose I will never stumble upon a more effective aid for rousing myself than a jet of flame"

30th: mythological (or as Kobbers know them, real)

31st: "GET ROTATED, IDIOT!"

June 2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: "What in the heck is a Smurf and Turf?"

2nd: "Nya. Miao. Mew. Meong. Niau.  แง้ว. няв. ඤාවු . 야옹."

3rd: "How will you handle... the railfans?"

4th: “Well. Haven’t we found ourselves in quite a sticky wicket?” …Julia Ravensky.

5th: A textbook Big Muscly Arm, as it is known.

6th: "What SHOULD I call him? Tarantula Hawk Wasp?”

7th: it's just Kobber bullshit for her now.

8th: There was, in fact... a rule that said dogs cannot play basketball.

9th: "OI, DO YOU FACKIN MIND?!"

10th: "GLORIOUS RAAAAAIL POLYGAAAAMY!"

11th: "...Ohmygodyou'resoright I'M STUPID, WE CAN MAKE KABOBS"

12th: "Pow! Pow, pow, pow."

13th: "OW! THEM PINS BE POINTY!"

14th: "Giant sea serpent? You kidding me? That would have been a great opportunity. But no, we have to be asleep when it happens."

15th: "Voodoo dolls and Voodon't dolls"

16th: "rack off, ya bogans. At the risk of sounding technical."

17th: "To get INside, you got to be an OUTsider here."

18th: "I'm Rumia, and I pet all the rocks!"

19th: The Fist Of The Financial Investigators might have been a terrible movie title

20th: None of these phenomena seemed to be really connected to anything

21st: Yes It's The RV Again.

22nd: "Oh. WOW! That's a lot of time"

23rd: Tornado Lele!

24th: Oh wait they're shooting laser beams, fuck-

25th: Boy, this escalated quickly! Fortunately

26th: "Say hi, Forvale." "Hi, Forvale."

27th: he'd find that his arms worked just fine. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

28th: FUCK IT, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LEARN PLACE NAMES, IT'S TOO HOT RIGHT NOW

29th: YOUR MOM BLINDED HIM!

30th: "they seem to believe that art should take third or fourth place in priority."

May 2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 1st: "So... six months of this, huh?"

2nd: All sorts of half formed plans and ideas were distracting her, enough that she almost tripped on a part of the sidewalk that wasn't flush with the rest.

3rd: He had a feeling that it was going to be one of those trips. "...we could play truth or dare,"

4th: I like to say Jiggy. Jiggy jiggy jiggy jiggy jiggy.

5th: "What religion has gun angels again? I need to find the right church."

6th: The priest jerked to the side.

7th: "They're tacky as fuck! Who has time to pose for cameras while on a mission! Also what sick fuck got the idea to shove a bunch of monkeys into a barrel? And while we're at it what other sick fuck decided to turn an obvious act of animal  cruelty into a fun party game..."

8th: Mud walks over to the mess of Dung chunks and lolls

9th: And once again, you have two men.

10th: "A mind like mine is wasted in the mines!"

11th: "Truffles, I'm going to be honest I don't know how sniffing the bones will help, but I'm glad you here."

12th: At least Sumireko has one (1) fan!

13th: "Cobb, ech." Rooting around for eggs

14th: Where are we going to get 500 rocks for pokemon cards?!

15th: There's a moral about this somewhere, if you squint.

16th: Thoroughly inspected. No aliens.

17th: ...okay, fuck it, she's discovered Italian Brainrot.

18th: Then maybe we could solve an issue and Throw Momma From The Train

19th: "But the fastest and easiest way to get you out of here is with something useful"

20th: "Surely there must be some sort of, rail polygamy situation we can arrange..."

21st: Things got literally, but not figuratively steamy

22nd: buy-one-cone-get-a-free-kiddy-cone offer from Juan's Ice Cream Underground

23rd: LOBCO SWEEP BABY, HERE COMES THE MONEYYYYYYY

24th: "...on second thought, no. Punch him. Very hard. In the face."

25th: "So what, you're all in cahoots? Are you all cahooting like a bunch of ca-owls?"

26th: "It's an odd special, but...They steam a good ham."

27th: A menagerie of malformed macabre Mabel replicas though?

28th: "If you tell the one about the man from Nantucket I'll sock you."

29th: "I've been inorganic since the day I was born. But go ahead, keep praising me."

30th: so where was a manchine supposed to go to possibly get answers and possibly money

31st: "I'm a disaster too!"

Offseason 2024-2025 Ticker Quote Archive

 November

1st: "Where are you going?" "Prepping my resume so I can give my two weeks' notice."

2nd: "Yeah, we're starting to get mail and put in street names!"

3rd: "Still, as happy as I am with you all, we yet have work to do."

4th: "I won't beat around the bush. You two are in jail"

5th: "SARAI SARAI SARAI SARAI SARAI SARAI SAKAI SENPAI HENTAI RED SPY TOO HIGH MAI TAI MEN'S TIE-"

7th: "The Clairepiece is now complete."

8th: Castti turned away from the INCREDIBLY LEWD sight

9th: "MGEOOOOW" Chloe sounds like this.

10th: spending time with his future wife certainly didn't hurt, either.

11th: "Okay, no, I swear I was listening and paying attention to all that was just said, but there is NO WAY I'm standing around and listening to you two talk more whale politics."

12th: In some ways, though, it kind of was a knitted chunky sock

13th: A very bad smelling, dearly in need of various forms of hygiene, inside an equally badly smelling 'secret semi apartment'. THAT, he had built.

14th: "Fuck golf!"

15th: "I have nothing. I promise nothing."

16th: "There will be no need for pizza today." "But will there be a WANT for pizza?"

17th: "...You seem like a nice sort of people"

18th: "Monarch is not a very large group at the moment, and I spent most of my starting capital on the nice front doors..."

19th: "Now, I KNOW kringles don't actually have anything to do with Kris Kringle"

20th: "Nope! I'm staying here!" "Well, that's understandable."

21st: "I forgot I was short"

22nd: Cursed Antiques, a reality show about people finding cursed antiques and getting them de-cursed.

23rd: Come back in a thousand years and we'll check on her.

24th: "I do not sleep and Miyoi would be sad."

25th: Well, it's a Heaven, at least.

26th: "Oh, wait... is that a bullet wound?" "Hmm. Looks like it"

27th: "And that, Five, is why you'll probably go under before you even get off the ground."

28th: she'd impressed him, no small feat since she wasn't a Baneblade

30th: Come try on these clothes I've made. I'm sure I'll love them.

December

25th: "BUT WHO'S SIDE IS SHE ON, BROTHERDUDEJACK?"

January

21st: …eating the bark?

23rd: Way to go, Ishii!

24th: "Deadlifts, please!" Hannah said immediately

26th: "I admire your optimism."

30th: "That's a Nintendo 64, the greatest console that's ever been made."

February

3rd: "Yeah, but try to keep the bodies to a minimum, alright?"

6th: “I didn’t waste THAT much flour.”

8th: Christopher was now completely stonewalling them. “Oh no!”

9th: "You ever watch The Lion King sober?"

10th: "...Hello-" Hannah gasped and whirled around

14th: “DEEEEEE DUCKKKKK SHIIOONNNNNN!” Joy called.

16th: “Don’t ask me, I just work here.” The undead irradiated human said, and then offered a cigarette.

17th: "Their thoughts are temporary. Art is perpetual."

20th: the Space Pirates had come up with a messy, half-baked, and unstable as heck way to tap it

24th: "Side training. Babies"

25th: she looked down at the picture on the box critically. It was one of Trader Joe's finest

26th: he was, in fact, a dog

28th: "...Excellent!" Loremaster said, nodding as if she understood what any of that meant.

March

2nd: The door…did not open.

6th: “The couch is more comfortable.”

10th:  the molten palace squatted like an old oven.

13th: Day 16: Sudden terrible weather.

17th: "Oh, look... It's deert." She said, amazed.

18th: “Also don't accept subpar tea. Where's that waiter?”

27th: "From now on, I am to be known entirely and only as... Mauve Vermillion!"

28th: Hudson certainly felt like she was working with crayons

29th: You could be a depressed alcoholic anywhere, at any time.

31st: lucky guess: it could have been aluminum

April

1st: "That's the ticket! Not too many details, not too many answers!"

4th: “Do you think she planned to end up half dead, with her jaw broken?”

6th: the most idyllic, picturesque boathouse on the edge of a river that one could possibly imagine.

7th: “Okay, dander is up now.” Gundrar said.

17th: crunching down on a pretzel as battle commenced on the STREETS OF RAGE.

18th: “Hey! HOLD IT UP!” “Wha- OW!- OKAY!”

20th: "Good stuff, huh?" "Yep. Talks us up, but not pretentious."

29th: A rolling armadillo swerved off-course with some gravitic calculations.