I'm A Shaaaaaaark

 It was a beautiful morning by the Misty Lake. The sun was shining, the air was warm, and the lake glistened in the 7:21 AM light.

Selachi Morpha hated it.

Well, perhaps hate was too strong a word. She normally liked waking up on such mornings so she could start her day off right. Go downstairs and feed her friends, go for a swim, go to the village to do a bit of shopping if she didn't have a show to do that evening. Today though? Today was a much, much different occasion: she was waking up with an awful hangover. A little too much partying the night before and now she just felt like a slug, wanting to stay in her bed like a mere minnow instead of the mighty shark she knew she was.

"Morning...why is it still morning?" she asked herself as she got dressed.

On stage, Selachi dressed wildly and sang even more wildly. She might not have been the best singer or danger in Gensokyo, but there was no denying she knew how to put on a pleasing show. At home though, she dressed far more humbly, only using her magic sleeves when it was time to perform, whether on stage or putting in an appearance somewhere. Today called for something easy to wear though, a simple tunic and sweatpants she slipped on as she looked out the window. The sun fairy was trying too hard this morning, she thought as she narrowly avoided tripping over her calligraphy table.

She looked at the table briefly to see the scribblings of a drunken lunatic. What HAD she drank the night before?! Oh well; it was kind of pretty and she'd probably remember what she was doing later. For now though, someone was having a battle of bullets in her skull and it was taking all of her power to focus on heading down the stairs one at a time instead of the all of them at once her feet seemed to think was going to be a great idea. Fortunately, she kept a small stockpile of preserved meat on hand for mornings like this; her friends wouldn't starve. Then again, they were also technically wild animals and could hunt for themselves, but they were also so cute when they were ripping chunks of meat apart!

"Hold on, hold on," she muttered as she descended an inexplicably existing staircase to her basement.

It was technically a basement. It was a room and it had walls. The floor was mostly an open pool of water though, one leading out into the Misty Lake. Anyone could swim into it if they tried hard enough, she supposed. The throbbing in one corner of her brain suggested she might want to get a lock for the basement door someday. The suggestion was discarded. Only a fool would brave the small colony of rays and sharks that dwelled within her basement.

They were her good friends though, several of them swimming up to greet her as she brought breakfast. Her skin turned rougher than her hangover and her teeth grew sharp; it was easier to talk to her fellow predators like this. She also did this around some of her less-pleasant fans and venue operators sometimes.

"Sorry, it's not the best stuff today. Mama couldn't go hunting this morning," she apologized, grabbing chunks of dry meet to throw into the pool.

Normally she'd go out and...shudder...change into a land beast to go hunting for fresh meat to feed them, but she didn't feel like it this morning. Did she have any painkillers? Did she remember to get more Alchemist's Kindness when she was sober? Maybe the best cure WAS just to go back to bed.

It was, but she decided to go for a swim anyway, work through it the hard, cheap way. Misty Lake didn't need the Mighty Great White this morning though, so she gently dipped into the water and swam through her friends, content that they were content.

The water was perfect though, just the right temperature as a bull shark gently passed through the ray colony unabated and into the lake. Not too many waves and the fish were out and abundant, a perfect snack for the...um...Bold Bull? She'd workshop a cool name later. It was time to workshop breakfast instead.

An hour and three fish later, Selachi was fat and happy (so to speak), swimming along the shoreline aimlessly. She heard a splash to her left, close enough to warrant a glance.

GASP. A CAN! IN HER... immediate vicinity. She technically claimed the lake as her territory, but only her rays took the claim seriously. Even she didn't believe it sometimes...

Right now though...TRASH. IN HER LAKE. GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

She swam over and delicately snapped down on the offending litter, poking her head up to see a fairy flying by, burping after chugging a now-empty soda.

"OI! YOU FORGOT SOMETHING!"

It was a good throw considering Salachi did it without hands. The fairy squeaked as the can bounced harmlessly off her head; she turned, angrily yelling. The Bold Bull dipped below the waves.

The Mighty Great White then appeared, locking its eyes on the much-smaller fairy.

"GIVE A HOOT. DON'T POLLUTE."

The fairy decided it suddenly cared about properly disposing of litter and flew away from the lake at top speed. Salachi smiled; scaring fairies was always fun. She dipped back under the water with a big grin, ready to face the rest of her day.