A hurricane of memories and emotions blew through Rebecca's mind as the Shelby cruised towards the planet Trill. She grappled with the onslaught of thoughts to maintain her identity, struggling to maintain her sense of self even as several lifetimes urged her to integrate into their collective mind. Calm came only from the gentle urging of her friend, piercing through the voices in her head to remember who she was: Rebecca Solveig. Rebecca, not Alaric or Svetlas or Nais! Solveig, not Brandes! A young student with dreams of being a pilot, not a linguistic professor or an opera singer!
She muttered constantly in a dozen languages she simultaneously knew and did not know. Vina constantly tried talking to her, encouraging words about the rest of their academic year. School projects to gripe about, lectures to carefully tune out, a thousand opportunities waiting for her at home.
A chime cut through the tension in the air and a blue-skinned Bolian appeared on a nearby monitor.
"Pardon me, Miss Rebecca, but we've managed to get a line to Trill for you," the Shelby's comm officer reported. "Shall I put you through?"
"Yes, please," Rebecca said, managing to not sound distressed.
The Bolian's image faded and a tan-faced woman appear. Her hair was hasily gathered into a ponytail and a Trill's markings ran up her neck.
"Hi, Mom," Rebecca coughed. "How's it going?"
"I'm doing well, dear, but I really need some things explained to me!" Mrs. Jyla Solveig asked nervously. "Namely, why someone from the Symbiosis Commission got me up in the middle of the night to tell me my daughter was coming home on a Federation starship and why you look so pale."
"I...where do I even begin?" Rebecca moaned, turning to Vina.
"Do you want me to help?" Vina asked. "I've been here the entire time."
"No...no, it should be me," Rebecca sighed. "Let's get the big part out of the way: I've become bonded to a symbiote. I'm a...a host for a symbiote named Brandes."
The look that passed onto Jyla's face was a strange blend of reverence and distress. "My...my little girl's become a host? My girl's a host! Oh my, I don't think we've ever had a host in our family before, and so young! You might be the youngest host ever! Wait until your father hears..."
Rebecca clutched herself as her mother began going on about how great an honor it was to have a symbiote host in their family, trying to ignore the rising memories of when the previous Brandes hosts became joined. The joy that accompanied them threaten to make her retch. She struggled to say something when Vina intervened.
"Mrs. Brandes, please. This is a very hard time for Rebecca," Vina said. "There wasn't anybody around to explain the joining or the procedure to her and she's been having trouble coping."
"Oh my, I'm sorry, dears. I'll make sure the commission has all the required reading for you when you arrive." Jyla wiped a tear from her eye. "And thank you, Vina, for sticking with her right now when I can't."
"You're welcome, Mrs. Solveig. We'll see you soon."
"See you soon, Mom," was all Rebecca could manage.
"I love you, dear. I can't wait to see you!"
Jyla's image disappeared from the monitor and it was all Rebecca could do to lower herself onto the bed gently. They'd managed to get the news out, so that should be the hard part, right?
Year 2402, planet Trill
For the week following her return to Trill, Rebecca - now legally Rebecca Brandes - had been treated like a celebrity in her community. Local news had interviewed her, people wanted to meet her, and members of the Symbiosis Commission had been at her beck and call to explain aspects of being joined to her. Eventually, the Commission experts decided they were no longer needed, leaving only a stack of literature for her to refer to and the novelty of being a young host no longer intrigued people. For better or worse, life had returned to normal.
Except at home. Rebecca was suddenly being held up to higher standards of conduct. Her parents' admonishments frequently included "What would your previous selves do?" The only person who DIDN'T treat her differently through the entire experience was Vina.
Through every subtle change in her personality or whenever she suddenly picked up a new accent, Rebecca could always rely on Vina to keep her grounded. Even now, she was the only person who still called her "Rebecca Solveig" instead of Brandes.
But now her anchor was being withdrawn. Vina, now graduated from high school, was going right to Starfleet Academy.
"Couldn't you put it off a couple of years?" Rebecca asked, watching Vina pack. "I mean, there's still stuff you could do around here, right?"
Vina smiled as she sealed her trunk. "We've had two weeks since I graduated to hang out, Solveig. I don't think there's anything left on our 'To Do' list except get a solid eight hours of sleep."
Rebecca couldn't help but dread Vina's departure. She'd gotten better at suppressing the voices and sorting them out, but she still woke up screaming from time to time as some terrible memory from a previous host's life bubbled up in the form of nightmares, each accompanied by realistic pain and emotion. Her nightmares extended to the real world too; jealous classmates frequently credited her successes to the symbiote even when she achieved things none of the previous hosts had even tried. Her failures were doubly cruel as her detractors remarked that even with a symbiote's help she was a failure. Only Vina's friendship and tinkering with machines in her basement had kept her sane for two years.
And now one of her refuges was leaving for Starfleet.
"You'll still be my friend though, right?"
Vina sighed and gave Rebecca a hug. "Of course I will. I'll write every night and call when I can. Things may change a little, but we'll still be able to complain about school to each other and gossip about guys and everything we do now except share a milkshake."
"I think I can make it then," Rebecca conceded. "But you have to come to MY graduation, okay? I don't want to have to build my own cheering section."
"But nobody else can do the Wave in such perfect sync," Vina teased. "I promise, even if I have to hijack the ship and crash it into the school."
Rebecca snorted. "You'd have to learn which way is up first."
"Easy," Vina scoffed. "It's that way!" She pointed left.
"Close enough," Rebecca said, squeezing her. "Do we still have time for a pizza?"
"Pizza AND a movie. I'll even let you pick."
"I have ten different opinions on a favorite movie and none of the previous hosts have even chimed in yet," Rebecca said daringly.
"Then I pick Star Wars," Vina decided. "I'll let you and the peanut gallery decide which one."
~
The next morning, Rebecca sat watching the departure of a gleaming white shuttlecraft with Starfleet's emblem painted on the side. She squinted as hard as she could, trying to see her best friend through a viewport, but the sun was right in her eyes. A surge of despair and grief threatened to wash her away, but - remembering the promise between friends - she stood her ground and shrugged it off. She believed in the Vina that believed in her and resolved to be strong. First things first, she needed to get to her workshop and just...BUILD something. She didn't know what it would do or how it would work; she could figure that out as she went.
"Maybe a hovering coffee cup. No, did that one last year. A talking food processor? No, that sounds annoying..."
Now that she only had herself and herselves to talk to, Rebecca hardly noticed that she was managing to drown herself out a little bit at a time.
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